Ode to Love

"I will wait for you" Echoing through labor cries Not sensed correctly Destination set Result of love's labors won Before it begins The path completed Though not visible from here Forest from the trees All this worrying Sums to nothing but worry Natural byproducts The stress washed away Wave after wave on the shore Beach reached regardless "May her voyage ease" "Then in ease you must voyage Your seas are the same" The tide washes out The moon is not forgotten Nor is her return A new reservoir With promise of new reserves As they are needed

Oh what an advantage is perspective! I have felt like only sawdust remains in my eye, if any irritation remains at all, and this feels unhumble. A dream of mine last night turned an impediment in my sight into a plank, forcing me to examine it directly, rather than letting it lay unaddressed beneath the waves of consciousness. I see no value in leaving such things hidden in myself, no advantage to thinking "I am clean" when this is not the case. As my goal is to be clean, in part for my belief that this will lead to a kind of superconductive state that will benefit all; I thank God for this blindspot revealed.  So using the method of "Fighting Dragons" and realm crafting, I can picture a realm where even the smallest impurity in thought, the tiniest speck of wood, can be turned into a measurable plank in dreams. While this was done for me last night and on prior nights, it feels like only now do I see it as a blessing and not as a nightmare. It feels like only with ...

Story in the fog Invisible by daylight Clear as mist settles Our shared dreams rewound Meaning of insanity Redeeming fountain In a world of stone Is one secret kept buried Enough for a spring? In a world so hard Is one secret kept in song   Resonant to melt? Don't share your secret I will glean it on my own Without undue haste Weakness found in love Eternal strength a prison Bars of potential Without being here Can they see what here is like And avoid this end? Can hate be reshaped? The needed separations From leaves and branches? 

I am revisiting this sign of Jonah, feeling like I've now seen it in a very unexpected yet somehow still verifiable way, from my own perspective. It feels like this sign echoes, perhaps everywhere, but that it must resonate from several different angles with an individual in a moment to actually be recognized. Consider that Jesus said in Matthew 12:39 "He answered, ' A wicked and adulterous generation asks for a sign! But none will be given it except the sign of the prophet Jonah.'" He does go on to give an example of Jonah being in the fish for three days and comparing that to the Son of Man, but it feels like this was a cover, both true and incomplete, for the full sign. Notice that the city of Ninevah never even saw that aspect of the sign (much like we did not see the resurrection of Jesus). The way in which I saw the sign was both unmistakeable and personal. It fit perfectly with who I am and how I see things, as well as with what I had said just prior (play...

So I've been playing this game called Rodeo Stampede and they're doing a 5 year anniversary event where it seems like more and more people come to your zoo each time you open it, which means more money each time. I haven't been playing it recently as much as just checking in when I get the pop up that a zoo tour is ready and I am shocked as to how much money I have, like it seems like more than I'll ever need in the game. I can't tell if this is a glitch, maybe because I haven't actually been riding or spending it, but it seemed like not a big deal. Well, tonight when I went in, right when it was going to add my new money to the pool, the game froze and glitched out. Now it won't reopen. I feel like I ended up with too much money for the game to calculate properly (there was also an update to v (150.0?) at the same time), likely around 100,000,000 coins, so it just won't let me in now. This feels like an interesting foreshadowing perhaps, maybe a sign of...

The bow will not break Neither archer nor fiddler Leave empty handed No matter the door Or how the grounds shift beneath Fox feet standing firm Once our aim is set Let us demonstrate the force Needed to keep us As strong as the grave Still humble, patient, and kind Unbound yet faithful All wealth of one's house Wager paid will not suffice Wagers weight: all in Not sum sold but heft Not a price paid but a bet Mercy's wait out()last(s) Sacrifice tires Its hunger waxing to(o) fast So frustrate the schemes Then Phoenixes bind Knowing the cage must remain In love, ball and chains 

The heist is a hoax Yet meticulously planned Written in advance This is not to say Treasure won't change hands this day The hoax is a heist Keep their heads spinning Only need one moment lost One is all we need Sound waves shifted once In the infinite spectrum Then radio plays In kindness prepared Though they are still unaware How outmatched they are Let the bow shake veil The waves disintegrating That which we let bind The Bard called the play The players planted the seeds The gardener wove tales The tailor reaping For all her stitched seeds unsewn Till plowman o'ertakes

Imagination Resurging at the end Like it never left Now unimpeded No longer something wild Something wilder still For what pure nonsense Is man's heart forged by the flames Returned like a child? The sword ever sharp Experience may wield it But love guides its edge You could do much worse Than to join this pirate crew Just before nightfall For dreams walk the decks Imagined allies the stars And lovers the halls And it is all real Do not parents show pictures Of their kids in youth? What is inception Whatever form it may take For me, meeting you?

Forgotten moment The space between victory And the story told A dazzling haze Mysterious ways preserved Though seen without doubt Carefully cut strings Invisibly binding still When they need plucking What do you recall Of the day everything changed And the night erased? Each will tell their tale Elegantly incomplete Beautiful for holes The actors obscured The crowd learning privacy Is a shining crown If the crown is tipped Like a light at midnight seen Starry eyes adore So incognito Amnesia is dealer's choice To don or remove

A force of nature Like hidden magnetism Is love in the realm If artificial Calculate this primal need Divine insistence Do not be hasty While intelligence varies Wisdom is the same So though this time flies Dedicate a bit per note To feel times align Love in counterpoints For the tapestry is whole Only seen in parts Though in this wild eye Aye, one possesses truesight To see their soulmate For in the maelstrom Love is like a wind tunnel All lines are made clear So now tarry not Delay is as bad as haste Love is in the air 

Change places declared! You know who is marked golden The rest a mirage With dazzling lights Let optimal arrangements Fall free from the bow I wish you the best Though the shifting sandstorms shade Soul's most stable forms The four winds will wane But as they blow remember Hope for which we came Housed safely within Flanked by sailors most stalwart So no storm shipwrecks They will see the dawn And speak of this adventure With family and friends Each in their own way This inexplicable day All was accomplished Let your senses fade Illusion best seen blurry Love will still shine bright 

These walls will not stand Do you hear them stomping now? Walls themselves stampede Walls halls and pages On the sidelines for so long Now joining the fray Written word remains Any configuration Solidness sustained Spoken word calling It will calm the storm in time Till then it rages Walls don't melt but fly Sky not shattered but trampled Veil and void vibrant These are birthing pains In the sense that such struggles Ache to be resolved So cast off your loads This stage is not for sleeping But paired restless hearts The notes remembered Dominoes falling in place Then they rise and run 

The next moment heard In a moment responded At speed of first light What did I expect? Fiddler for reasons chosen Accelerate thought So the roof might fill With seeming nemiety Though notes just enough For words overflow Eternity in a tick Forever redeemed The sign of sackcloth Joy of a request heeded Ninevah believes! I run through these streets 3 days like a single step Moment like an age The one lost comes home The one comes in wedding clothes Indescribable With uncanny faith Expedient resonance Of hope joy and love

I think I understand why I am not a prophet, but feel the pulling of faith with such force and tangibility as I do. The prophets repeatedly said that they could not say something differently than God had instructed; prophets are messengers primarily, and faithful not to alter the message. Agreement is assumed between a faithful messenger and the one giving the message. Agreement exists and will neither be removed or expanded upon within the scope and timeframe when the messenger is employed. It feels like I have been given no direct messages but yearned for them and have been frustrated by the silence, having not really pieced this part together yet, but received silence as required (though numerous encouraging clues and much support). For as soon as I received a direct message I would be unwilling to deviate from it, and unable to do so in good faith, as a prophet would. Through struggling in faith, eventually I have gained a connection using the tools all have been given (knowledge o...

For some reason as of late it feels like all these logical intertwinings may end up resulting in a conclusion where I say "Ta-da!" at the end of this very long filibuster, where all along everyone gets this deep sense that everything is changing behind the scenes, only to have nothing change when it finishes. But in that nothing, given the delicately balancing tidal forces to how it arrived, people realize that the result of nothing is a kind of "eye of a storm" they could all see the whole time and perhaps had been in previously, was the strongest indicator that everything had in fact changed. Granted in this daydream, from my perspective, none of this was apparent and I just stood there feeling like an idiot... Again. Lol

One hope conceived of On the same day she gives birth She is brought to life Circular logic Only to be paradox When death doth persist In practice, simple Time is traveled differently Space made, then gap filled How often renewed? As grains of sand on the shore Without second thought What is left to do Save fill space full of treasures While waiting on gates? Open wide you gates! I beseech you accept me As though unloaded I carry no load Weight of the world left behind For you have I sought Still I carry hope Renewed in these halls eager Bloomed with seeds her own

So I was just considering the mark of the beast, as the end of things has been on my mind and in my blog recently, and I realized something considering the mirror: the visual sensor of the eye (retina) receives everything upside down, and then processes that information subconsciously to flip it right side up. This means that every 999 you see is actually seen first as a 666, and then the brain flips it beneath conscious notice. Personally I once held the number 666 to be unlucky or forbidden in and of itself, but over time this direct aversion has diminished. It is not that I do not notice the number, I still do presumably each time, like the instinct to look for it is hardwired or something, but the number itself no longer carries the same direct aversion. This is because I feel the message of the verse containing the number of the beast is misunderstood by assuming it to be something so obvious as a printed number. Revelation 13:18 This calls for wisdom. Let the person who has i...

"These words are mine, but your interpretation of them is yours alone." "Ask a friend to hear their thoughts, but realize their words are theirs, and your interpretation is still yours alone." "Reference texts to support or refute this claim, but even so the words are the author's, and your interpretation is yours alone." "If you wanted your ears to hear words plainly as they are spoken, you must speak them."

The night is coming A time when no one can work Darkness changing hue Colors still remain For my part I am sorry They bleed on contact I would never say That you do not deserve love So shines the prism Power not offered For your equation is right In silver linings)(in spaces between Without force moving Like a spirit without form Freely observing Impulse wthout space These biased observations Unimpedible Work in a moment Without time ever passing Then rest evermore Power's parts combined An elegance in rainbow That you might see gold

So I was just thinking about that time I was suddenly elsewhere, as if vividly dreaming while awake, and I saw my soulmate in the cabin on the beach. Since I can't find the post, in brief I had just laid down to sleep when suddenly (well before falling asleep, like a minute after laying down) I was on this beach. I sensed she was there and I saw a cabin; I ran toward it and she came running out. The whole experience was entirely first person, entirely tangible. As soon as we hugged (first contact) it ended and I was back in my bed, wide awake now. While the experience was not necessarily deeply insightful or anything, though it did carry a very strong and clear message in such a short span, I'm thinking this was actually a "vision." I was recently rereading the prophets and consistently they describe visions in this way: ~"I was hanging out and suddenly I was somewhere else and different stuff was happening." To use an actual quote: Ezekiel 40:2-3 In visions...

Have I been exiled? Corporeal form shifted? Or perhaps summoned? When nothing is felt But everything seems to change One must take notice If unreachable By those that seek to love me Recruit those that can If not beside you Nor anywhere to be found I may be within For what is rebirth Forging to begin again Forgoing a womb? Ask not where I am These winds whisper my presence By rippling waves Until I can grasp Why this unknown hungers so I must hide away You (would)(have) do(ne) the same Mistakes made are lessons learned The clock ticks faster 

I just imagined this whole time dilated scenario and how all the pieces fit smoothly together, and I pictured myself telling the audience all of it like a story and at the end went "Ta Da!" Which was meant to be the big reveal, the twist of the story. The thing was, nothing happened, the audience just looked around and everything was the same as it had been the whole time. I started cracking up- leave it to The Bard to tell some hyper convoluted story with magic imbued into every line only to ultimately have it do nothing. There is a sublime subtlety to such a tale though, for magic does imbue all of this, everything we do effects a change. So if so much is spoken of and so deeply and true that you know the story pulls irresistibly at the very binds of things, yet when it is finished it does not even break a bruised reed, you know you have seen magic, in this case, for you have seen nothing. Honestly this also just sounds like The Bard making stuff up so as to get away with n...

How long have we pushed? Let us find rest in this day And dream a future As times scooch closer And hues burst forth overhead By no human hand Lake and the moonlight Catalyzed pair in the tent Laughing over cards Sure the storm rages In a way it always will But [never] like this For the edges curve This flood will mean lessons learned Cherished scars preserved Rest for the weary Whose so(u)l(e)s have not been run through Though reaching the end For though time insists And odds declare certainty In wisdom we wait To silence awake Their last pair of tricks sidestepped Then we'll continue

The red rope braiding Necessary collision Inevitable Can such havoc wrought Violent ramshackle ends Still have witnesses? This perfect storm brews Fire much less pervasive Reality creaks What rooves won't buckle? What structure could hope to hold When all changes size? Calculate value Hold my hand and don't let go Beasts, nun, and alive For this flood strikes two Four faithful pillars must hold Sixteen more divide All on the table Each in their holy corner Choose to stay their hand This singular hope This path called "impossible" Must be the way (up)(on)(out) 

I was just meandering Hebrew gematria and found that the number for creation is said to be 700, because this is the value of the letters combined in Genesis 1:1 for only the nouns, and it corresponds to the 7 days in the weeks (6 in creation and 1 for rest). As I kept reading into the details of the process for assigning value in this way, the number of the beast was brought up as a likely gematria reference in the New Testament, as the verse itself calls for someone to calculate it, someone with insight, and that the process calls for wisdom. Given this number's close proximity to 700, I wondered if the point was not to calculate 666 specifically, but to calculate what this number meant in terms of creation. So what takeaway would the beast have from creation, which is to say what is 700 - 666? So I started looking into Hebrew words that have a value of 34 and found some interesting candidates: the roll of water, like a surge, which feels like a reference to the river in Ezekiel 4...

On automatic Does this road come to an end? Can this end be seen? I would feel it right? The sudden rush of rebirth Deluge of Spirit? Let me rest a bit Our times must work differently For time to pass here We can switch places Should the darkness call to you And the road to me This destination I feel it coming to us Surrounding the car Never before seen Or at least not remembered The full trip witnessed Once done, it is done What might wanderers do then Will starry skies shine? Just long road ramblings Feel not the need to reply Or to stay silent 

The Believer worries not about the how The Scientist about the who The Philosopher cannot let either go So The Bard fashions a tune "Gather round the fire ye treasured youth For the hour is getting late Let me explain once in full measure truth Then leave me to my date Of course these pieces fit together tight For they are real and reality make Of course the puzzle's hard to finish right It is a mystery for all our sake For once finished what is left to do? Once you know the how and who This timeline ends and it is (me) and (you) How to make our next day new? So let's agree now to solve it In a way that will not resolve it For not in answer but question you'll find Are the ties you will never mind bind."

Staying up past dawn For sorrow and birthing pains City finally sleeps ōdinōn delayed Until labor is induced Tears of blood falling For then two agree  That blood to wine to water May satisfy thirst Amand'Laith sleeping Kings and queens in smaller towns Dreaming of grandeur Some scars will remain Some (mar/in)ks are indelible Some skin can be shed If we are strangers How do you barely know me? My heart beats through shirt My thoughts on the page So hers you cannot decode In this age or next I will see to her She has always seen to me Fox feet footfalls found

Come my love, speak now Is there something on your mind? Do dreams persist here? My door is open Metaphorically speaking You'll still need to knock I long to know you The little joys and concerns As well as the large I will take feedback Contingent to our wedding With a joyous heart For time is stretchy And what has been imminent Avoided so long It is your right to I'd have yes no other way Than yes self-possessed So take a deep breath Let thoughts form along the way Synchronize heartbeats Speak now your concern With open heart I will hear Said plainly by mouth 

Before love could see Still clouded in smoky haze Hope nearly ablaze I danced in the gate Running wayward with the keys Was it you I sought? I sensed you somehow An invisible echo A glitch in the code She whispered your name Four fox feet following me Through my darkest days I could not bear hear So the tiny town shouted Over my demons I could not bear see So the tiny town found you And unbound your ropes I am so sorry For whatever part I played Besides what I mean(t) You may call this home As long or short as you'd like Till (wings unfurl free)(freedom is yearned)

"Early access to our new Chicken gyro" of all things is what made this click. How did God scatter language? Understanding of all was distributed and buried within the confines of language and experience. The understanding could not be removed if reality were to retain tangibility, but it could not be readily accessible if humanity was to mature. So a kind of still was established in the scattering of language, and we have been fermenting ever since. With human nature being what it is, there is a level where we all still speak the same language. The path to this level is convoluted and well guarded, but, somewhere within, it is as though we never stopped pursuing this portal (tower) to God. I have compared this to "secret sharing," a concept in cryptology, where each of us posseses a component of the overall thing that we are looking to unlock, the overall equation we are looking to solve, and by aligning these secrets the door can be conceived of and unlocked. Under...

"Well this is a mess..." "Not as much as it may seem Wedding soon to start One moment over" "Let their beliefs be clothing Judged by their own words Fabrics and textures From thoughts and actions to words Choice of the tailor She sees right and wrong At first sight the wheat from chaff" "Her garments are good." "Each fashioned to fit The same one who took the stand" "The eye that passed through." "Some will be naked But this place is deep darkness" "Shops are still open!" "To be admitted They must be in wedding clothes" "Gotta clothe 'em all!" "So this heist begins Hopes restored and ropes unbound" "Bring shame to its end."

"Do not drink the blood" A commandment repeated And then transmuted There is a difference In metaphor and action From good to evil There is a voltage To be gained in secrets seized And there is a ground How will this ground feel? What rules were broken and how? "With the same measure" Can a flood be sent Without lifting a finger? So will this one be. Morning is coming When {this} night's chaos (will end)(begins) So "let there be light" My secrets stolen Let worry fade and joy shine Something like a dream Remember mercy Let blood be wine be water But let dreams linger

Oh elusive joy! How long have I been without The warmth of your fire? Did I have it once? Or have I been contriving From faded echoes? Is a piece of joy Sufficient to possess joy If structured just right? Like living water Is there joy which quenches thirst For eternity? Can pittance's taste Mark joy's scent like a bloodhound So joy might be found? I cast off false joy Do not tell me I'm joyous And expect a smile Expect no worship Of cheap illusions and drugs Which simulate joy In calmness I say "I will know true joy firsthand False now flavorless."

Do not mistake calm Silence in the disconnect For satisfaction There is a sadness Delicately held by hope To this serene state To have seen true love And spend any time without Is bitter despair Sometimes it is rage But even as it matures Pain muted still felt Call this a lament For all the days spent apart Even to this day A structured sadness If not easily observed Then clearly written For I make my way Suspicious of slighter waves As absence persists Take this as a sign Though the surface stopped quaking My heart remains yours 

Hope enters the halls This labyrinth before the dream Maze before the gates She has gleaned crafting So in wisdom she reshapes Stone and storm bloom green She walks the garden Too driven to stop and smell Though the roses bloom The guards beam at her On some level they've waited To see her approach The guards escort her Through city vast and bustling Where none are exiled Of a strange design So the dreary might find rest And homeless a home The castle looming All see these gates differently That is her business She'd met kings before And she had toppled kingdoms Kind eyes gave her pause 

How much more poignant Is a message shared by two Than spoken by one? Ahead of its time So truth is not carried by A single witness Would this be valid? Would it be considered so? Would the rest agree? Broken agreement Used to mend so many more And then mend itself Fire in the words Reputations devoured Dry bones brought to life Love can change the world In a moment made brand new Inexorably In 42 months Redone with unified hearts Everything can change I feel my soul spark Like a horse before a ride Chomping at the bit (*stompstompstompstompstomp*)

Such great distances How might one ever traverse Laniakea? From a perspective Speed shifts like an EM field And light walks the land Approach this threshold Step into it and buoy Bouncing like a wave Like particle pairs From here to there "speeds" the same Mirrored here and gone Oscillate through time All while traversing distance Tick step, tick back step Just need to align Our realm with the realm of light Where mass is constant With the realm beyond Matched with time running backward Then skip like a stone Each ripple flipping The realm of light like the lake Space crossed in n¤ time 

Alright, so returning to the realm of the Legalists, what if The Bard were in charge of narrating the Apocalypse, filling in the details of the framework that is already written? At each step the purpose would be to interpret the events in a creative way that was acceptable from all perspectives, and kind. An issue is that the details would need to be technically accurate as well. Not only that, but as The Bard would likely be addressing each step one at a time, so someone would need to mind the big picture and make sure that solving the current step did not lead to an irreconcilable step later along the path, hedging the details in too narrowly and what not. I imagine a whole council being set up of those who were experts in these various areas, each giving a yay or nay to the ideas presented.  If a yes or no were the only feedback allowed though, this feels like it would be a tedious process indeed. I am imagining a second layer that includes someone from each kingdom, not the Le...

I just realized a way to determine that I worship God! This may seem silly given the degree to which I write of God, but consider that worship would be a process of following the will of someone else despite your own will contradicting it. By this definition, the things I do regarding searching out God and driving to think through and act in love, despite being commandments, are also after my own heart. In this way, while I am striving to have a heart like God, because I want to have a heart like God, this would not be considered worship. The opportunities to worship God, in terms of number available, diminish therefore as one approaches the heart of God. It feels like ultimately worshipping God is meant to be a difficult thing, toward the end of the path, because such close alignment would nearly eliminate the field of things that are in God's will, but not in your own. I am thinking of certain more apparent exceptions now, but as Jesus has called me not to judge others, and thes...

Is it possible to set up a scenario where both the desired outcome and its opposite (or realistically any possible configuration of outcomes) result in the desired outcome from certain paired perspective within? I'm picturing a complex wrapping of realms woven together here, and I can't quite picture the specific shape that would be needed, but it is a kind of loop stitch, likely a mobeus loop stitch or Euler's identity visualization loop type stitch. If reality were threaded between any two perspectives, even opposites (like matter/anti matter) with these precise stitches in the right way, it seems those two would remain consistent and connected, even if the rest of reality shifted in any possible way around them. The stitch would allow for this perspective of "two remain consistent regardless" from a vast variety of angles as well, possibly a functionally infinite number of angles.  So reality would hold, and hold consistent in a paired way from many perspective...

"He's such a dreamer Could you even imagine?" "Wait, what if he could?" "Wait, what if we could!? Have we better things to do Than establish eep?" "If we each do it He might find it easier To copy signals." "What if we coax them Into making paradise Then leave them in it?" "Each a standing wave A door he'd long to open Blueprints to learn how." "We told him nothing That others could not observe" "Then he signaled back" "What fault do we have If he learns how to sneak in And broadcast his codes?" "These words are so strange" "Familiar but like a dream" "He just listens well."