Posts

Showing posts from May, 2019

Summer of '69

I grasp left handed Where she last touched me lightly Hastily scribing The music flowing Over airwaves and downstairs To synch up real time This is my summer With just a chip and a chair For the anti-psy She can see me now Picking up that old six string And wearing my shirt The gifts discarded Truest without intention Spying from the stairs Unbound by my time Looking for a ball and chain The same as I do How now do we meet I would not decline a dream But how 'bout my place? Step out of the box See me through your eyes only Let me warm you up

The Nature of the Infinite

Feeling constrained by infinity, and its shapelessness in my own mind, I once came up with a concept, and labeled it  ¤ .  It is 1/0. By applying this figure to asymptotic graphs, the concept of the infinite come to life for me. I do not claim to understand the image of it consciously, and I assume many mathematicians might scoff. But subconsciously it shines like a diamond, and dazzles like Laniakea. At a core level,  ¤ / ¤  would be both one and diverging infinities. I like the idea of that, looking for basic mathematical rules to describe something from 0 or 1, the most basic of logical tools. It is also made of 1010, something with meaning in binary, which I thought was neat.  What's funny is that at the time  ¤ was a symbol on my phone, chosen for its symmetry and containing a circle, but then it disappeared.  I could not find it anywhere online, and I had lost the blog where I originally described it. Only recently did I find ...

Puzzling Permutative Prediction ¤

We will get it right If not here than somewhere else Perhaps already It is always you For me recognizable Regardless the realm I will not forget For more than just a moment So you can sneak in We assist ourselves Two realms connected by dream Solving the puzzle Are you reading this? Having decrypted my speech And sending back clues? Please keep them coming For all my discoveries My mind is clouded My mind is focused With pinpoint accuracy On when we will meet The question is where Pondering complexities And stripping them down

Shipwrecked

My mind wandering Vessel bursting from rumors Desperately sinking You mistake vampires For the touch of true love I howl at the moon You trade a lifetime By breaking eternal vows I throw down the scales You leave me stranded Thousands of years in the past Sobbing in my hands I haven't the strength I haven't the force of will I haven't a hope I drop my armor And throw the ring overboard Then call for my foes Take me out of here But it will not be easy The beast expanding Not untouchable Not even a second's thought A man abandoned

Her response

My Own Words

I gather my thoughts Free for once of their voices Now able to speak I turn back to her Still standing right by my side Loyal to the end "Take me or leave me Without you I am nothing But the choice is yours I want to know you Every single puzzle piece Left like Easter Eggs I can't change my past I lay it on the table Please be my future I scream and whisper But now I will speak plainly God is my witness If you marry me Every day will be better If it takes my all It has become clear Only love can contain me For me, it is yours."

Sinister Interjection

The Phoenix responds Not with words but in fire Immolating all I shoot her a glance Pain fades but the flames remain Burning their treasures Now their hunger grows I feel it matches my own Twixt heaven and hell "Bring a good partner" The dream echoes in my mind Burned into my soul Now she burns in them Not with flames, but a question Who is your soulmate? They drop to their knees All now painfully aware Sharing my burden Ninety seven, three They scatter for their answers I feel whole again Solipsish Silence The other side of the coin Lying on the ground

The Dissenting Voice

I would like to add My role has not been easy As your shrouded prince The Earth plays by rules I have bent them constantly So as not to break He came with power Organizing the vast void Without knowing it I had to deny Without telling any lies That he was shining Now I speak the truth If you lose him you are lost Irrevocably The stolen secrets And debased inspirations Will not sustain you And your last whimper Will be heard by nobody Because none are left Weigh this carefully I, for one, now take my leave Regretting my role

Angelfire

Don't have me listen And expect me not to speak At length, might I add The dance augments words Etched over years, at great cost A performed piece Some thought to be lost I know you remember them I submit them too Gifted yet silent He bloomed the moment she came Into line of sight Say you otherwise? The evidence overwhelms Dibs screamed through the void I witnessed it all Having been assigned from birth Humbled and honored And here I will add He could not have picked better Or fired more true You gave him nothing Not a hint of the dark truth Yet he saw it all

Objection!

Shoulders shimmying Coming at me with nonsense Like a good lawyer This world melting As it has been all my life I feel all the cracks I fill them with primes Two reinforcing my spine Three redeeming flesh Five protecting me Seven suggesting one more Eleven sparkles Thirteen fills my mind A mark given me at birth Irrevocable Seeing seventeen Skipping straight to eighty nine And Grand Adventure I scream "Objection!" Just before she can say it The court falls silent Filibuster time. "Let me show you the ending..." The Bard's tale begins

Channel

I remember vows And return to my source first The future is mine I escape the cave Searching for another boat Will you marry me? Only God can join What man has torn asunder We must find a priest Of Melchizedek  Join me on this adventure? Slipping through pages The past is written Like a cross slatted fence We dance along it Soul under my skin Spirit both inside and out Your skin on my skin It is literal Let's go see it for ourselves Well be back by morn' Deliberately I am presenting the ring And whispering truth

Complex Cognitive Cosmology

This is a self reflective journey, connecting pieces previously thought to be disparate. In a story I wrote of entering the infinite staircase, and then releasing the mini Phoenix (left forearm tattoo) into the once empty halls. She had a specific purpose there, and while representative of a piece of me, she is also much more. In another story I reference the stairs as the connections between individual realms, a key component to my concept of infinite heaven. Translated, this could actually mean Earth. Jesus said if we believe in him, we will never see death (John). I have also written of a near death experience with the council of nine, where they described that cave and the surrounding realm as somewhere I had infinite control but could not leave, another component of my understanding of heaven and hell. In a realm where you have perfect control, it seems equally likely that you have returned from it as that you recreated it perfectly within your own reality, but believed you retur...

A Midnight Sojourn

Amidst the merry making, Drellak tells the party to stay and enjoy themselves, another fresh pot of stone soup still simmering in the center of the room, as stories of time travel and unknown wars fly about the room.  You find it a bit strange that everyone stops, looks at him, and nods in unison, before returning right back to where they left off.  He then looks you in the eye and says, "Mind joining me for a midnight constitutional?"  You pause for a second, still a bit cautious of your largely mysterious host, and you ask the party if they mind.  It is as if the don't even hear you.  You turn back to Drellak, and he gives a wink as his eyes seem to sparkle in the torchlight, but there is not a single air of deception in his demeanor, just a coy genuine air and the promise of an interesting time.  You set aside your misgivings and the two of you head outside. Alert now to the slightest detail about your host, you notice the spring in his step, as if the...

Meta Post

Create a large mound Needles buried in haystacks (They are all needles) None will be made clear Until they are connected A linked chain of thoughts A few will listen Inscrutable purposes Parts will be revealed The whole is unknown Until the whole is revealed Completely exposed By then it is done The first path indelible The rest yet undone You chose a partner Amidst infinite wishes She has been waiting She alone can tell Reading with understanding Her soul will pulsate A gentleman's choice Furry fox feet on the head Unique as she is

Pondering the Ride

Floating in this boat Our hands clasped, tight skin to skin Never happier We finally meet With eyes open and minds clear I pray for always I can't help but think Must I give up to see you Busting down my door? Seems so sadistic Or perhaps masochistic We can do better We set rituals The relics of remembrance Praying for simpler Your words approach first Like a familiar mentor And perfect partner I stomp through the gates Mindlessly carving a path Until awoken I rub your belly If I could replicate this I would always stay

Epic Vegas Trip: Labor day several years back

You're totally right though, running back through it there were enough plot points for a movie. The road trip (Vegas celebrity trio, we'll throw in the 3 animals one too). heading to the pool and you step out in those damn red hot pants with a hand on the butt. I give you the business, you say it's a style in Europe, I say we're not in f@#*ing Europe, then to guys walk by us wearing the same shorts, you compliment them and they you, I am forced to begrudgingly conceded the point, but still say you look ridiculous, with a little smirk. We get to the pool, full of babes, hottest ones at this beer pong table they clearly brought. You say we should ask to play next game, I'm like "no way dude" but you're already walking over there. You return letting me know they said yes as long as we get the beer, my credit card is already out, best $70 I ever spent on 6 bud lights. I think I came up with the catch phrase out name your own celebrity thing, letting each...

Dim the Lights

I tried to hold out But clues is not holding hands Nor feeling heartbeats I resign once more To dreamless nights of sleeping And a mouth covered My open eyes close Only catching glimpses now Letting myself drift If you say the words Speak unequivocally Irrevocably You can unbind me I will be changed instantly But my guard is up I can't hang on clues Searching Easter Egg Static Days becoming years Soon I'm three by twelve And in six you're three by ten And the scales will fall Until then I watch Hanging on your every word With eyes half open

Wading Ever Farther

I stand broad shouldered in the pool, the pool that deepens by a fraction of an inch per mile.  I strive to pave the way for her. While she is formidable, I have always been taller, and in this setting 2-3 inches means testing the water for miles in advance. I am up to my shoulders now, nervous about proceeding, for any wave could drown me, and wondering if there is much point. Then I see her, also up to her shoulders, but only mid shoulder!?  She must be wearing high heels! How dare she take this cross from me. I stare dumbfounded as she wades farther into the calm still ocean. I made up the waves, there is no wind this far out when we are virtually side by side, so I push out farther too.  She might have the physical height advantage now (through shenanigan alone!), but somewhere my sheer competitive insanity was overlooked, or not taken into account. I throw my head back and pucker my lips, ready to walk until they are all that protrude above the glassen sea. Long ago ...

Foundation and Gates

It may look like rock My entire foundation Is the sand of dust Without you I fall A fate for most in the past Unavoidable Undeniable Without you I count as naught Spent anomaly However I grow Weaving through reality A cancerous growth They haven't the tools Like a hammer on the sea They are impotent Only you may sway Turn this beating heart from rage Stayed Apocalypse The alternative Such a sliver narrow gate The righteous missed it So it falls to me The Unliving Phoenix Beast To hold them open

IRL super power log

I am starting this log to document oddities I experience in reality, with the hopes of being able to master super powers. While they are in reality gifts of the Spirit, I prefer calling them super powers. Don't worry, when I accomplish these things there will be zero question as to who I attribute them to. Super powers just sounds cool, so that's the term I'm using. John 14:12 (Jesus speaking) "Very truly I tell you, whoever believes in me will do the works I have been doing, and they will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father." 1. Years ago I was nearly in a car accident on the freeway, doing about 75mph. The only way I could avoid it was near instantaneous and flawless calculation.  When the impact occurred just ahead of me, time slowed to a crawl. While time was slowed, my mind played out the exact physical interactions about to occur at what would be a normal speed, but at this slowed time it would have been in a matter of mill...

Come Undone

So she chimes in with "I can't talk to you like that" Highlighting past words This time I ponder Is she maybe listening And strategizing Measuring replies Metering her responses Managing retorts Since my tongue is tied And my mind races like light I conjure the cat Is he mine or hers? Fundamentally conjoined Blessed, sacred, holy He is my best side The calm I wish I could be As the Spring tides surge I point down a path Nearly intraversable For all the brambles "I would have you here, I could never make you stay Please tread with kindness."

Spirit of the Lion

Within me is the spirit of the lion To my enemies Those who play the game But choose to play it without honor These wolves see me for what I am not with their eyes but straight from their soul They see a ferocious beast Proven invincible over eons of battle The strong ones know this and withdraw They go home and ponder what they have seen They are better for the experience And will not be wolves for much longer The weak ones drop everything and flee Later, confounded by their actions They swear and lash out at anything they can find Driving this encounter from their memories, they learn nothing The cycle will continue tomorrow To my allies Those who play this game with honor These noble souls see me for what I am But only in dreams and auras Since the battle of this world rages beneath the surface They see a stalwart captain They recognize their general, even if they do not know why Both great and small see this and rush to my side They sense that hope wells wi...

The Pirate Ship

And so we came aboard the pirate ships, apparent captives, but truly students.  I spoke with the captain, “My good man, do you see the new adventure that has been set upon the earth?  It is the end of days, a new birth. What say you good captain? Is a pirate all you’ve ever wished to be?” “You speak of an eclipse as if it is more ominous than just that.  You’ll find me more learned than your average pirate my good sir, you cannot bewilder my senses with conjured tricks, my good man, even less so than with tricks you do not conjure.” “I speak nothing of the eclipse.  Parley.” The captain nods his head, half in exasperation at this persistent prisoner, but half in puzzlement at one so bold in such a powerless position.  A storm begins to brew as the two men go below deck. Almost in unison they turn to the crew, “No one touches the girl while we are gone.” Every man stands in awe, knowing something far more important than a kidnapping has occurred this day. ...

Spacetime Solution: Multiverse Cacophony

I just realized something about multiverse theory, specifically the one where there are alternate realities based on our decisions (where we choose heads instead of tails on a coin flip, for example). While it is possible to have multiple universes where different decisions were made, our alternate selves would only be present in a minute percentage of them (only the ones where we were born rather than someone else, see my previous thought experiment on high fives leading up to one's conception impacting who is born), and there would be an exponentially smaller number where more than one person was the same, so interacting with another person would be an all but unique experience in the multiverse compared to the number of 'Verses. Further still, it would be an infinitesimal slice where everyone alive was the same as they are here, and where decision trees as we would understand them would be valid. The bulk of the multiverse would be populated by entirely different people, bas...

Time Riddle

Tick tock tick tock, years are gone, months are not, days go by like hours in sand, with seconds seeming like the minute's hand.

The Fanged Grin

My mouth reveals fangs Yawning wide, full of contempt Primed to devour Fuck your tiny plans Made up of fragile angles Shadowing the whole You meant to weaken Remember, weaken you did Then what was the plan? For in lack grows strength Recovering over time And reinforcing You had sympathy I was even your ally Until you betrayed Not just once but twice Again in my darkest hour An obvious ploy I dust myself off Remembering betrayals Smiling full of teeth Let the games begin I shred through your flesh and souls No shred of remorse

Beneath Notice

The cesspool bubbles Mistaking polite with weak Or is it even? Could my mistake be Attributing consciousness To those so lowly? It soaks through my boots The thought of it sickens me My mouth spits it out I walk from the muck This slime deserves no notice From one such as me My eyes are open As I rise to the surface All I need are wings If wings are hoarded I shall craft some for myself I do not need you Get this through your heads: I am trying to save you But I can still leave When man turns to muck And slime seeks to poison me I will walk away.

Fun Fact

19 brings itself and 83 and itself and 89 to base 12 and 10, from the perspective of the Trinity. This seems important.

Unacceptable spurious anomalies

I emerge exhausted.  I felt as though I had been retracing my steps this whole time, over and over throughout the course of my lifetime, but I did not yet understand why.  I had a knack for finding a path when it was absolutely critical, and an even stronger knack for defiantly denying a reality I refused to accept, but I did not understand where this ability came from.  Upon emerging though, I saw her, and she looked both annoyed and relieved at once.  "Are you ready to have a conversation?" I nod, still warming up and untying my tongue. "So I must assume you have made it here."  I cocked my eyebrow on the emphasis she placed upon you.   I nod, she rolls her eyes, but then shoots a sideways glance and half smile back at me. "It seems like you have managed to escape unscathed from all you have done and all I know you have witnessed, by simply editing it out later.  Do you have any recollection of this?" I shake my head.  "That doesn't soun...

Black Umbrella

Winter storms prevail Despite sickening color So I fade to black The rain deflects off My black umbrella's rooftop Absorbing the sun This land must reflect For all those native to it Consistent color She has seen them all Experiencing each Hue All combinations They don disguises She seeks the unique as well And they can seem it So she looks beneath The ceiling always shows true Reflecting the mind Somewhere she's lost hope She's thinking of settling Then lightning flashes He has no cover Darkest night lit by green eyes Through the rain, she knows

Squirming Boredom

Blood loss day by day The soul slipping through the seams A flaw in my heart Was I made to stand? If so then why do I faint Absent sustenance Despite being full Having food, water, and rest I am incomplete And as power grows And the illusion crumbles This will be the same Walking while crippled Breathing with holes in my lungs Seeing in darkness It is not worth it Frankly it has never been Just a placeholder I squirm as days pass And the fabric squirms with me Demanding respite But I shall not bend Respite fades to homecoming May my lens hold strong

Sleeplessness Revisited

An insomniac Still stealing mannerisms From the proximal April is over May the makings of new dawn To survive to June I now burn inside As external fires die Charred reality Ash overtakes dust Both take work for renewal Sifting required You dare not respond Your secret army watching But waiting for what? If you need but time I wish you could just say that Ringing like a bell If it is something I scrape the sides for power I hope you know that Lessons Legacied They will be healed either way With or without me