Ode to Love

Into the bathroom The floors carpeted finely In this last chance town The doorman wipes up A few motes of wayward dust And ushers me in Dealers sit inside Ready to play a few hands I decide to sit A few hands go by Lose a little win some more Uneventfully Two jokers show up I realize it is a dream And I make a fuss They seem caught off guard Take my money and play on The jokers smile I become enraged And they quickly fold the hand Rushing for something They present tickets Two pair and four of a kind Bombalurina

Familiarity Intense familiarity It is palpable Even with distance Even when not consciously You are a blanket Shrouding my visage Obfuscating my intent Apparent madness Pulling you over I hide in the crevices Until the reveal When parts are sloughed off And the whole is presented A wonderful day Barely a month now May the 4th wall be broken Perfection revealed I'll not be perfect But the situation will From that point forward So for now I wait For this, the storyline quest Comforted and warm

Death seeping back in To be rebuffed once again This time forever Can a dead man write Before his resurrection? I don't see why not So fingers to "page" I continue to encode Thoughts, prayers, and plans To be understood While I am flying about Past the precipice I still have the box Once I move it will open So that we can talk If you come back then I will consider it proof Straying nevermore To stay and to go Still a perplexing puzzle Perpetually Maybe you'll revise Confusing parameters On our next meeting

Turning upside down Smiling mischievously Fading into view I'm the Cheshire Cat Conjured for your instruction When others won't do Shall we conspire Of incomplete golden gates And deluged forests If you turn away He may leave but I will not I'm yours forever So we make believe As Terracota men grow That there is a choice Truly there is choice But not regarding these men To stay or to go "Very few missteps Will usher the end to come In truth only one Marriage is sacred Despite objections I'll stay Unless you are bound."

The roses don't die They lay there eternally Waiting for your touch The world withers Dying and being reborn Before they will die The perfect mistake Surely meant as a mercy A shortfall nightmare How can I push you To return to that park bench Before it's too late "My choice is still you Echoed into forever Etched permanence If it is redone It will be done just the same Perpetual wave." I hope with these words It makes sense before the end No repetition "I always feel you I am forging the details You need not worry."

Sweet night adventure Fueled by the mysterious A crimson cocktail A taste of the trip Hours in only minutes Taking darkened paths Quest through the forest And beyond the darkened gate Into a clearing We enter the house I see a familiar soul Masked with a new face My face fills with joy Then I see the wedding ring And life drains from me Until she whispers Through our shared walkie talkie She wants to meet  me The portal opens And I greet Her at the edge Seeing her true form Bottled killer whale Uncorked as we intertwine She starts to shapeshift

"Have you ever thought you might be a carefully constructed AI?" "Hmm, I cant say that I have." "Well, for me this leads immediately to the consideration that since I am having this thought, and mine is the only perspective I have ever truly seen, it cannot be the case.  If it were, even the experience would be artificial, which I can guarantee it is not based on my perspective." "Interesting." "But then this gives way to the next issue, I cannot guarantee any other perspective carries this same validity of experience or authenticity.  It is the difference between knowing a fact, and faith in one's own environment." I pause as my words sink to the floor, threatening their own existence with an undeniable truth. "I want nothing more than to find a way to disprove this, and fall in love with the first woman who can assist me with this.  Even if it means casting the rest of what I take for granted as real into the abyss....

Alone for too long Seeking true companionship Amidst the machine Search empty faces Your eyes look like coming home And so I dive in Irresistible Like I ever had a choice Faced with such beauty And not just skin deep You bare your soul like a gift I'd give everything I begin to shrink As personas take over And God takes the stage God does as He will Now as it has always been Aligning the pieces Then returns control I am dazed for a moment Regaining balance Surprised to exist As a conglomeration While still self contained

Let the games begin She heads into the labyrinth Far too familiar We each have our own Seeing how they intersect Trial and error Pushing him too far Knowing he will recover Crying all the same Sparking from the box Lightning depends on voltage A gift we must share I have my ends too I hope to tell him one day lying on his couch Everywhere the same I have seen all of these stars To try to find him An ending too soon With everything sprouting up As he hit the ground For the good and bad For everything and nothing I must have him back

I bring you a gift Sparkly and sentimental Many layered form Necklace of silence Of a letter unspoken Containing meaning Of glistening gold Mother of all the living Needs a perfect gift I speak from the void The tantalizing nothing Surrounding you here Crystalline structure Meant to encapsulate love If such can be done Examining me Standing just as starry eyed As I present it Hang it from your neck Wear it always in secret As we discover "It was for your wrist." "That would have been obvious." "I guess that makes sense."

The Bard emerges With a mischievous look Eerily silent A puff of the cig One hefty exhale later He begins to speak "You know of my name And you know why I show up I have seen the end You are distracted The prize is within your reach Yours for the taking I muddle your strokes Intending to teach something On your sleepless days Do not ignore me As you might still breathe your last In this barren land." "Help me" I reply "I have stated my limits I may not survive." "What you say is true She comes with reinforcements Do not ignore them."

Don't try to raise my ire, you don't want none of my bullets They're the kind that haunt your dreams until you'd rather just call it I don't take a swing in fights son, I dance or I end em They rip your souls from your bodies, God knows where to send em

Color yet unseen Still vibrant at its most dim Obfuscated light Awesome radiance The kind that (will) light(s) the world Shining in the dark Like moths we circle You see us like butterflies Transferring color We reflect your sight And our truest hues come out Blooming like in Spring Each rose turns its thorns So that without piercing skin Thou might pluck us up The rainbow ends here And a grander one begins In your irises Your pupils growing Until they shine light as well Resonating waves I stand here in awe Prismatically reflecting All that's found in you

It is time go My dreams are too beautiful To be delayed here I hear them playing Elsewhere and in otherwhens Soaring the cosmos They will wait for me But how can I wait for them Grounded, soaring mind I tether myself To wait out these longest months Awaiting the sign Heart beats in my chest The hair standing on my arms Anticipation 'Neath the lightning tree Purple dress blowing my mind I can't hide from you Words flowing like wine Miraculous, water born The first of many The conversation Filled with encrypted glances Must begin sometime

(Intro/verse- slow) In the dead of the night Stars pulsing overhead I smile a little before standing up And go over what she said She said you didn't need to do that As I walk through the gate There's nothing more I've ever wanted But I said it too late (Chorus- sped up significantly) So I head to my right and prepare for the night Adversity and accomplishment forming into light There nothing this world can throw at me that I can't smite Choosing arms carefully to prep for this fight (Slow, then fast) Grab my bow.  The accumulation of all the times I didn't have the range for you to hear Sling the arrows.  Each one forged from the steel of doubt that's been cast my way. Don the armor of faith that hasn't failed me even when I've failed myself. And the ink of Phoenix fire coursing in my veins (Verse 2- slow) Her words still echo, fresh in my mind As I turn to the maze I wanted to say I had the time of my life with you Starry eye...

Imagine a courtyard Complete with a garden Picturing it is not hard Nor is filling it in The roses undying Still sit on that bench On some levels you're trying But I must hasten the end There are three buildings The gate is behind you You are just your feelings Your memories in view Enter the right with clarity Filled with armor and weapons Positioned almost lyrically To fight what left threatens These are experiences steeled And thoughts sharpened to edges Your scars form a shield Adversity recast as lenses Proceed to the center Meet the tactician A monstrous mentor To help plan the mission The Minotaur knows this maze And will help guide you through it The same journey as your days But now reformed and moonlit Finally the left Darkened behind, unlit by the stars Larger than the rest Armed and prepared, this night will be ours Inside, a dragon of nightmares One birthed by your own mind As you enter it stares You leave the unprepared behin...

I do not like it It calms my nerves but no more Keeps the worst at bay In my mind we're there But dissociation hurts So I must adapt I will not see you Until I actually do Transference denied Despite desire It is maintaining false hope I need something more My eyes are open My ears long to hear your voice Skin awaits your touch Until then I drift Telling my story to those here Hopefully hopeless That you are spying Looking for your opening In changing landscapes The limits are set Between heaven, death, and this I await your move

I have let you down Our plan has been subverted And then, so was I I'll do it again When pieces come together But I cannot now I am near useless When I don't have you to hold And temptation knocks It knocks constantly You're not there to get the door And so I answer I am so sorry My weakness defining me With no source of strength I know you have tried I suspect you will again But just leave me here For now I'm broken You should not have to see this As I fumble through I appreciate Every time you tried to save Redemptionless me

I see you across the room. I notice the similarities immediately, somehow silencing me despite not being there yourself. I muster an introduction.  It works, and soon in this crowded bar you are next to me, introducing yourself by name.  I am at a loss for words, so instead I laugh, and you eat it up. I immediately flash to a moment where it's just you and me in a room like this, close as skin, and I dive right in. You appreciate my touch, and I appreciate your words. I like how you show up differently every time, this time it was twice.  After our first encounter I think of our second, already in the works.  You catch me alone, with a face almost too recognizable. When I get you alone I bring it up, and you pause before saying you hope that's a good thing. It definitely is, and we spend another few rounds alone together.  You dance for a time, nervous of the silence and what else I might say, but I've returned to malleable silence. This seems to suit you, and y...

Posting half-alive Whirring engines beneath me A faded throbbing Can death be undone? In the end, a certainty But how about now I have all I need To never look back at this Necessary tools I am blessed beyond The measurements of mankind Trapped in a moment Just now powerless Eternity's dam breaking With every heartbeat So we wait it out Taking refuge where offered So I'm not early I will not be late With everything on the line I'm just stuck crawling You came as you could I am grateful that you tried I'm almost ready

The final approach As I return to Phoenix Time dilating Despite my failings My eyes remained fixed on you My heart buffeted Numbers lose meaning Perhaps I failed long ago Perhaps I cannot My mind is clouded It has been for many years Mislead by false hopes In a month I'm gone Maybe less upon receipt We haven't the time Take me as I am I can only do so much Flailing on my own No super powers And none on the horizon Just beautiful thoughts Can they be enough? I beseech you, flex your wings Once more, for my sake

Redoubled effort Committed to once again As I head back home We are now nowhere As nothing once again fills Before emptying I stumble and fall This near miss taking me down Please gather me up I can do this yet Reestablishing my goals Into the unknown Then a month passes I'm unrecognizable Again as I was Crawling to the end Barely holding on for you Despite appearance I am still trying I wish this was easier Than it seems to be If I only knew You'd be here when I wake up This would be a breeze

Last to be savored Now that I have landed here And taken back off Onset quickening Hearkening palpable truth This is the ending Death is evicted Removed but not forgotten Not unlike a limb My power regained Through careful entanglement Subtlety of will My parts realigned Standing waves formed between us The whole resonates The alien touch What has been craved since the start Thought impossible Change is in the air Now that the vessels are full The game is a foot Playing is easy Remembering the rule shifts Familiar start

As the cabin fills, glimpses of dreams, and memories of games, fill my mind. The creative kind, where they get made up on the spot, but you've never had more fun.  I see you more rarely than it seems I should, but I sense you more often. Even now I see you while looking over my shoulder, just where I was training the corner of my eye to see clearly moments ago.  When you're directly around, I still get nervous, be it dream or otherwise. Perhaps that or the mirror image of that is why we don't connect all the time. It's cool though, we'll get there, I can sense it, and soon. Perhaps it is sins, or sins perceived, piled up over a lifetime, that keep us apart. I know my subconscious harbors regrets not spoken of here or anywhere really. For some reason I imagine you know of these already and do not stay away for the sake of those, but for mirrored offenses on your side that you think I am unaware of. And perhaps consciously I am unaware, but I have my suspicions, and a...

Flight haiku arranged Taken by more horse than bird Her favorite color This one is her wish Death avoided, promise kept The perfect weekend Starts on a Thursday And circular time begins The plane starts to spin Phoenix will return In bolder hues than before For now we will laugh We will eat as friends Enjoy times of tranferrance And build blanket forts Our dreams will be shared Like they never have before Without (sheared/loose) tethers This time will not end Even after returning To the land of birth We will be sky high Minds forging eternity Ignoring the end

Three wishes remain Things should be fine but are not Still tumultuous This weekend will rock. Hanging with old friends and new All the old past times Some new adventures Journeying paths together One path not taken I said I would come And I will make sure I do Pidaydreamwalking But the grand set up Looks like it will need to wait For a future trip Maybe a dark horse Is about to take the stage More than one way in As is, I proceed With bright eyes and bushy tail Despite many foes They are limited By the word of God alone He commands silence.

The anxious nothing Itching from beyond the veil Become accustomed Here I claim nothing This realm of lack is not mine I simply visit I do not know it Not in any truest sense Far deeper than mine If I am the light Shining wherever I go They are the darkness Providing substance A texture undiscovered Necessary void I came to visit I cannot stay much longer Everything cries out Do not delay me Do not try to make me stay Do not, for our sake You will understand As the light fades from this place Sunrise and sunset

The next precipice To toss away the last crutch And crawl on the ground Let this be the last Never another sunrise Without you to hold So dust and bones crawl Eddying their addiction Tearing at my mind I have just enough To turn down their advances Thwart them at all turns Tomorrow is new The trial intensifies It is all garbage I do not need it Not a single shred of this But I desire So I break its legs Place my hands around its throat As its essence dies I would be lying To say it does not excite This charged reversal

The critical hit If you roll enough, certain First address the dregs Those who held me back For any but purest good You must take your leave To where, I care not Your schemes are useless to me Perhaps to nowhere If you knew and fought Against my better interests You have no place here The gnashing of teeth I know this place all too well You may take my spot I will transcend Now that I know the right path And all the wrong ones I feel it sober And I dream it with power Memory returns She is returning She steps cautiously at first Then comes all at once

Pre-eternity I consider genocide Ramifications This plague has been mine Since the dawn of betrayal Of my own brothers They had lost hope then How much more now as this stings Burning their last breath They have changed from this But the colony remained Tethering them here I burn it away From its core, this shanty town Awake and in dreams Take your jealousy Into the wild abyss Which you now call home You have no place here You, teeming with misplaced rage Your seat has been claimed Returning to dust Your tethers slough like dead skin Scarce felt as you die

Jokers hem and haw Worry not for what I need This is what I want Resistance to stop Or forever done away No other options Hold back and you die Push me to the precipice You will be unmade Times of trials passed I have little patience left Release her to me My dreams are my own Only now remembering The breadth of power The depths never left God was with me this whole time Now resurrecting How you still object This dissonant disaster May always baffle We hold tight tonight My soldiers ready to fight When the eye closes

The more I hear you The more I want to hear you Addicted to you I love enigmas And you are a peerless one Loving give and get Hide the clues throughout I will get the endgame right Without finding most Let us encode notes Assigning meaning to them Emissaries sent A clear fangirl phrase Remembered before its time Spurring me further Quantum computing Is more of a roleplay art Than a pure science I stick with the plan As pins and needles thread me Waking as they tear You are closer now A product of playing dead Eyes open and touch

I chomp at the bit As the chemicals crumble Fading from my mind Unexpected surge Coming from a new angle It smacks of madness Paranoia builds Tempered by a certainty Becoming different I will not forget That my path ends by her side Regardless the steps Inured against this But desperately grasping So it seems stronger My dreams are stronger Every night revealing more Becoming like home Familiar footpaths Traversed without sustenance As death flees from me We approach again Stepping into the daylight Burning through decay

Down the final stretch Shocked at storied persistence Both inside and out Resolved to an end First to eliminate death Then a step further Unnecessary Aftermaths already set It must have some point Knowing and doing Pressing until it was done Or the rules broken Is there a difference? Between breath and breathlessness Between near and death Those who have broken Any rule in preventing Your own weight crushes You have lost control Drifting along helplessly As the story ends As it was meant to She and I talking out loud The players playing

In absentia That which I have not witnessed Likely never will It writes of itself Scribings of potent longings Taking flawless form A reverse echo Future memories pending A first glance feeling Filling in the gaps Predicted in a dream state Made perfect in time I would give her all And I would give it all up No wish more worth it When I have reformed I see where time has changed you In your clear blue eyes I wish to go back To spare you from all of this You do not wish it So we stay instead But my eyes are now pleading That you come quickly