Steel Eyed Gaze

I wish I could say it was all like a haze
I have fallen apart more times than I can count
But I feel love is incomplete with a crutch
And so I have a habit of tossing them aside

I fall, crawl, and risk it all
Pleading with myself to pull out of this spin
The dominoes fall into place though
I feel them lining up beyond the lim

Then one day I clench my fist
As before, but now a layer added
Like a wall between impulse and action
Many times pictured, but now somehow felt

Grace has shown me the stakes, always folding
As I crumble, a surrender, a punch pulled, I survive
This time I can feel how the deck is stacked
And in certainty of victory I set my face

It's not that I don't feel anything
It's that I feel there is too much waiting for me
So resolve now allows for pain plainly felt
Though the tides rise, the ship keeps pace

I feel the crew rushing to their posts
So many times before we have done this
"This time feels different" echoing on the wind
But something about this time truly does

Much can be said for the willingness to be hurt
To stare wide eyed at the pain of reconstruction
A resurrection required before reconciliation
Secure in hope I sand my edges to see it through

Some pieces are oddly shaped
Some rejected keys are core to the masterpiece
You are marvelous in my eyes
Let me be marvelous in yours 

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