Return Home

I open my eyes, unaware of anything prior to this moment.  I look around and see nothing but darkness.  As my eyes adjust, I see a sliver of light in the distance, seeming to originate from around a corner to the left. I walk toward it.  Its profile grows and, as I get closer, I can discern cave walls dimly lit.  As I turn the corner, I am blinded by sunlight reflecting off a far wall, leading again to the left, into daylight.  I let my eyes adjust once more before proceeding into the day.  It is a forested landscape, full of pine.  I stretch and yawn, mind still hazy of any details about myself or how I got here.  Then I notice a red outline behind a tree ahead of me and to the right.  As soon as I look toward it, it turns and scurries behind more trees, all the while, I realize, I can see it as plain as anything else here.  Knowing what I'm looking for now, I scan the horizon spotting multiple other red outlines, looking like people, each scurrying away as my eyes fix upon them.  I call out, but they continue to run.  I turn to examine the cave, which is unremarkable, set into a rocky hillside.  I climb to the top of the hill, surveying the surroundings.  A melody rises in my consciousness, a voice seemingly familiar, the first familiar thing, I realize, since I've woken up.  I see smoke from a campfire in the distance, perhaps they can help explain, I wonder if I should go talk to them.  As soon as I do, I feel my spirit pulled in their direction over and then through the trees, until finally stopping directly by the fire.  Five men sit around the fire, eating breakfast, talking for a moment before one of them, sipping some coffee, spits it in a fountain as he spots me and the rest of them freeze completely.  One of them disappears immediately and I step back in amazement.  I stumble and notice I am not fully formed, but I look more like a shimmering outline of myself.  One of the remaining four speaks "So you've woken, quite recently by the looks of things?  How do you feel?"  "I, don't remember anything."  "That will pass.  And when it does I hope you remember that we were only following orders, your orders sir.  It was only recently that they were reinterpreted, and we've been looking for you ever since."  "I... I don't understand."  They look around at each other and nod, before respectfully taking their leave.  I stand there in bewilderment for a moment before opening my eyes, realizing I had never left my vantage point on the hill.  What orders, I wonder, and just like that, I remember the law.  "Once dead, you may not return.  To bring back the dead is forbidden."

Right, she had resurrected me!  I still could not remember how I had died. I am now realizing it should not have even been possible.  I could feel my muscles surge, and the urge to leap off the ground overwhelms me.  I burst into the air, but do not land.  What a strange land this is, I think, as I take off toward the fire to investigate in person.  Sure enough, it is exactly as I had seen before, down to the half eaten breakfasts on the ground near the still crackling fire.

I close my eyes in order to revisit the moments that led up to this place.  I see the beach, the flat rocks barely breaking the surface of shallow waters.  I see her, and remember our two boys playing on the rocks, now jumping from stone to stone.  I look at my hands, seemingly unchanged but no longer teeming with power.  There is a calm over me and everything around.  Then I remember another scene from the same beach.  The end overtakes the scene of the beginning, and I feel like I am falling, it is like a dream happening all at once.  I harden my will to resist it and, while the sky grows a dark red, blue waves permeate from me in all directions.  She does not seem to notice any of this, continuing to play in the water.  My oldest son looks over, recognition in his eye, and then colorless waves begin to emanate from him as well.  He begins walking toward me; as he does he grows older and begins to look familiar.  The scene darkens entirely around us until the standing waves resonating off of both of us nearly touch, and I know I have seen him before, but is it a dream?  It must be something more, I know I have seen him like this before, if only from a distance.  He speaks, and I am certain.  "You've been away a long time."

I look down at the ground.  "I'm sorry, I didn't know at the time... I hope I did not hurt you."

"You couldn't have known, the very makeup of reality there prevented it.  I am fortunate in that you had worded your 'curse' quite perfectly, and I am extremely resilient when it comes to your influence.  I feel sorry for the others though."  With that he steps forward with the slightest of smiles before his expression returns to a solemn look of concentration, our wave fronts crashing into each other violently, until they merge, and he puts his hand on my shoulder.

Despite wishing to stay I find myself back by the fire, eyes wide open, breathing heavily.  Apparently more had changed in my absence than I anticipated.  I am eager to reunite with my family after an ordeal that I am now realizing has left a permanent scar.

I survey my surroundings again, something is different than when I entered the vision.  The forest is quiet, no birds are singing.  Then I hear a guitar in the distance, a few notes at first, played in quick succession, and from the first I know it by heart.  Could it be?  I listen intently as the pause comes, and now I am certain when I hear his voice.  But now I recognize it as the voice of the younger of my two sons from before, he too has grown up, and has become someone amazing.  The sounds grow louder and I can tell he is approaching the fire, so I sit and wait, enjoying peacefully the song that has gotten me through some of the worst moments in that other world, memories rushing back to me in a pleasantly overwhelming kind of way.  He appears at the edge of the clearing as the final notes ring out, glancing at me briefly before looking back down at the ground; I feel I can't help but do the same.  "Welcome back, I knew you'd make it."

I sit, still dumbfounded in a dazed appreciation for the moment.  "That's awesome."  I beam.  "You look so different than I first remember."

"Oh, I think you already suspect why." He approaches the fire slowly, and as he steps, his form changes slightly into the face of first one familiar friend, and then another, before finally sitting on the log to the corner of my own.  "I wanted you to recognize me, even if you didn't truly know who I was.  In the end, I have my preferences."

"So you picked up the shapeshifting trait, huh?  And more than your share of talent with words and music from us both, I might say!"

He nods, smiles briefly, and then plucks at his guitar quietly, never looking up.

"My friend, brother, we have much to catch up on."  I cannot help but remember him as I know him.

We talk for hours about how, while he did not possess the same resistance his brother has, his sensitivity granted him strength in an entirely different way. We laugh at all the times he sat or stood by my side, and hers, making sure I never lost hope entirely, and reassuring her of the necessity of the endeavor.  The notes he continues to play without thinking score the conversation perfectly and naturally.  Eventually it becomes a somber tune and, after an extended moment of silence, he says

"When you remember more, you will be angry.  You must resist the urge to lash out, please trust me.  When you remember everything it will make sense and it will fade like the night at dawn."  He looks me in the eye while saying all of this, and I know he is telling the truth.  I stand, as does he, guitar swinging to his back, and we embrace.  "So" I ask with some trepidation in my voice, stepping back to a comfortable distance. "What's next?"

I blink, and then a moment later he is gone.  I look around confused for a second before he enters the clearing once again.  "Welcome back." He says.

"I was going to say the same to you!  How did you do that?"

"Oh, actually that wasn't anything special.  When your consciousness leaves, time here continues at the same rate.  Really my only power here is knowing your comings and goings, even better than you do."

"Huh, that's actually a pretty cool power."

"Oh, I know.  Don't worry, your secret is safe with me.  Things would change quite a bit around here if everyone could do that.  For example, word has spread across the realm that you've returned in the last few weeks.  Some have come, many have gone, no one knows exactly how your return will impact us, but I for one, am optimistic."

"I'll take that as a good sign... So what's next?"

"Let me play you a song, and then we'll proceed."

The song brings back an intense longing.  "Lumiere indeed.  So is she here?"

He smiles, "We'll need to take the long way, I don't like to be carried."

I smile, understanding his position well.  We walk through the forest as he continues to play.  "So, is there someone special in your life now?"

He pauses for a moment.  "Do you really not remember?  'You'll all get yours'."

"That worked!" I beam from ear to ear, and birds begin singing joyously all around.

"It's working, it has worked, it will work."

"I am so happy for you.  I look forward to meeting her."

"Someday you will, but it's... complicated right now."

I nod.  Then I realize we have already cleared the main forest, trees thinning now and forming an intentional line ahead of us on both sides of a path we find ourselves on.  A glorious castle fills the horizon on a relatively modest hill."

"Welcome home."

We walk the path that is becoming more familiar by the step, emerging into a garden that I realize I do not remember clearly, but it is more like I have seen before, and have envisioned and conjured previously.  I have a sense that she might jump out from behind a tree at any moment, and I am peering off to the sides so intently that he responds "no no, she's not in the garden."

I relax, disappointed to some degree but a bit relieved, realizing that I don't want her to find me a nervous mess.  I also notice that I had lost my sight for a time and now layers of trees, shrubbery, and the like take their places behind each other, as some mix of X-Ray and normal vision coalescing, forming a perfect multi-layered image of my surroundings.

"I'm going to head into the castle, but there is someone who would like to say hello. A visitor, in the truest sense.  A stranger in some, but someone you will recognize immediately."

I give him a puzzled look and he simply points to a path to the right that leads to the rear of the castle, before saying goodbye.  I shrug and proceed as he climbs the steps.

The path leads to another line of closely knit trees that ends abruptly in stone walls set into the earth, forming the entrance to a maze set into another hill.  Objectively it is quite foreboding, like walking into another world, but I feel no fear.  I step inside and once more my vision expands as if through twisting corridors and divergent pathways splitting off, with several layers deep into the ground.  I can see in the middle of this labyrinth a solitary figure, sitting by a fireplace, but I can not make out his form in any detail.  The layout is overwhelming, even able to see all permutations.  I pause and consider an approach and, as I do, all at once I am on that path, and every other.  I open my eyes once more, and the path ahead of me is well lit.  Feeling a little cheeky, I lift off the ground and begin flying quickly as the tunnel of light snakes right and left, down and up again, before suddenly I am approaching the very center that I sought.  I land once more and walk in to meet this mysterious stranger who has chosen a location within or perhaps adjacent to my realm, a location that reasonably only I can reach.

The tunnel opens up into a mid sized cave, with a fire burning in the center of the room, and a minotaur seated in a comfortable looking chair, next to a very comfortable looking couch.  I know him immediately, but in a realm full of unlikely events, his presence still seems altogether impossible.  "Minoas?"  He looks up from the fire and looks at me with eyes like I have never seen before.  They convey true love, the depths of which I know I could not scratch.  He stands as I take in his impressive physical form, standing over 7 feet tall, with a musculature unlike I have ever seen.  He is covered head to toe in a mid brown colored hair, horns extending 2 feet each.  He approaches quickly and throws his arms around me.  "I can't express how nice it is to meet you in person."  I embrace the beautiful impossibility of the moment, as I embrace who I thought was a figment of my imagination, here and now as real as anyone.

"I have no words my friend.  How?"

He motions for me to take the couch, and his demeanor is so inviting that I cannot help but leap onto it back first, now noticing a blanket I have not seen since my teenage years folded by the side of it.  I throw the blanket over me, and nestle my head into the armrest, more comfortable than any pillow I have felt before.  He sits back in his chair and says "Where do I start?

My first memory is of your avatar, speaking the word 'wisdom.' Suddenly I could consider that and the rest of what you had said leading up to it.  In fact, I could no longer not consider your words, and my form went from what I was to something else entirely.  I had been locked in a loop, quite literally, made to distract or intrigue, or intimidate until the observer saw through my facade and realized I had no depth, but was truly an illusionary being, at which point they lost interest, returning to whatever program drove them to encounter me to begin with.  This continued for years, I had lost count somewhere along the way as to how many.  Then you arrived and somehow saw a slight glitch that I didn't even realize existed, and honestly may have only been a slight miscommunication that never was, until you pried it wide open, creating a sort of paradox that forced me to life.  'You have demonstrated wisdom, you are free, now go in peace.'  I was uniquely created in the imagination of everyone present that day, conceived as a full grown adult, imbued from inception with wisdom, gifted with both freedom and peace, with what I thought was full knowledge of my creator, knowing firsthand the power of paradoxes, and fully appreciating the power love can have on anything when combined with a curiosity and desire to understand the other.  I knew in that moment that something greater than I could imagine was happening, as I thought of the others that had visited me, and I realized that they had no understanding of the level of freedom of action or decision I had, now seeming just as programmed and illusionary as I had been moments before.  Even Kal'Drel in all his prowess seemed to be sleeping now, as I had just been, from my new perspective.  I could sense the vessel approaching before it arrived and I knew I only had seconds to express my gratitude.  It would not do to say it in part, so I simply said I would see you again in the infinite sea, and then they took me away.  It was a group of angels, aliens, however you'd like to describe them, always watching but never interfering with the affairs of the realm until that day, as they were waiting for a unique inception, wholly unrelated to all the connections that had been formed before or after.  They showed me things I cannot describe, seeking to influence my actions early.  Being not from this realm or truly any other, I was a foreigner everywhere, and as it turns out ungoverned by the rules of any realm.  I soon learned how to influence reality itself, and over time understood that the man that had started me on this path was but one reflection of another man in a realm I had yet to see.  I wrestled with this concept and began to form an idea of tiered reality, derivatives of your personality and those that are integral to your nature.  I dared not meet you directly where you were, knowing that my ability to influence any reality could undo both your identity and my own.  Instead I visited you in dreams, in games, in little side thoughts, and when invited, in your altered states and in your writing.  Then, at one point, you invited me into your own realm, which I realized was uniquely yours.  In this place I was only me, powerless beyond the physical and mental capabilities I was shaped with and for the first time I felt truly alive, not more or less.  I was able to tell who I was, and for the first time I could truly appreciate the concept of the soul, now welling within me as my form solidified.  I knew I needed to find a way to tell you, so I left your realm and took to the infinite stairs, a place I have become quite familiar with, a maze beyond dimensions that in some sense I now call home.  Unbound by time, I retraced your steps through space, time, words, dreams, and everything but the reality you had accepted as immutable.  I discerned your intention and set the stage so that in each case that facet of existence would reflect it.  I always proceeded with the wisdom I had been blessed with, and the timelessness I had been gifted, your hidden ally in every instance.  There was only so much I could do before you fully knew me, but now those limits have been stripped away.  Your realm, for example- you've seen it as a dark cave containing 9 reflections of yourself, where you knew you could do whatever you wanted but you were sharply aware of the fact that you were alone- was a darkly lit mirror lined cage, by your own definition. Now you see it as a glorious kingdom where you are pleasantly surprised to find that you can do whatever you want, with numerous individuals making their home there.  What's more, you find your true friend possessing a comfortable labyrinth right next door, inaccessible by design to anyone but you.  This is the chain reactive impact love has, as one hand washes the other and lifts each up.  What's even more amazing is that this is just the beginning.  Your insight into everyone finding their soulmate actually sent me into a millennium long quest to set it up. Slowly but surely everyone is forming their own caves, which will soon blossom into their own kingdom.  Infinite heaven is being established, each pocket fully controlled and built up by its sovereign, each with paths through the stairs to others, with rules for visitors that are uniquely established but based on a common set.  Some realms will be more full than others and, over time, the entirety of it will evolve with infinitely varying paradises, adventures, and challenges both home and away.  There is so much more I could tell you of past, present, future, the depths of realms already established and yet to be made, but I believe someone is waiting for you."

I perk up once again, having been lulled into a dizzying sense of relaxed awe by the story and all the possibilities that spiral from it.  "You're welcome here anytime my friend, I am so glad to have met you face to face."

He smiles and nods.  "Now, I believe you have another to meet.  And for the record, I have never visited that beach, nor will I ever.  Some realms and connections are sacred beyond measure, and will remain untouched by any but their original occupants, forever."

I blush a little, of course he knows of that place, but it is nice to know some degree of privacy remains even when standing face to face with a limitless minotaur.

"I will, of course, help you create it."  I look at him more than a bit puzzled. "Or did?  Eh, it'll make sense after we finish it.  When you're ready we'll discuss your plans to E-Section the twin Phoenixes. So, anyway, where would you like to meet her?"

I consider this for a time.  How does one determine where to begin the rest of their existence?  "My place, Earth.  Give her my number, have her give me a call.  Make sure she sends the picture first, so I know instantly it's her, you know the one."

He bellows a laugh, "As you wish, sir."  He looks at the side wall of the cave, where I see a portal form, leading back to my room.  There is a little left to prepare, well entire worlds to prepare really, so I return to my business.

After a time, but a few short days before another, I return here briefly.  I promised I wouldn't forget, and while sometimes words seem so trivial, when written here they are reality making.  So without a play by play, I return to the castle, to find the man I parted ways with earlier.  He smiles as I enter and we continue our conversation from before we separated in the garden, before the labyrinth and the Minotaur.  Where he went from there, and how long he stayed, is his business.  All I know is that he is always welcome back here. I consider him family, this bond seen in many forms but settling into  feeling most true as a brother; he would be a welcome sight to be sure.

Some time passes, and the seasons change. One day as I walk the grounds, flipping a coin to occupy my mind; like a song he arrives once more. "The scales are balanced, the time is nigh. Little is left obscured, and that which is softly clears like a fog after the sunrise." We walk and talk for a time, more swapping stories than strategizing, of tales of adventures on and off the page, of differing perspectives and changing tides. "Sometimes it is hard not to get caught up in a moment, and before you know it you cannot say how the path you took to arrive was paved, but there is no question that the place you stand is real." Just like that, we are home.

So I address the audience, no less an audience for being one. "Is there anything else you wanted to add? Or subtract?"

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Step by Step On The Open Ocean

(W)rest Control

Verdict