The Beginning

She stares at me with a look of dread as I flip the lights on in the once dark room and begin tidying it up. Only seconds pass before I register her expression and energy and turn back with a smile and soothing tone. "Don't worry, you are safe now." She does not seem reassured "But you said 'when I return she will be entirely loyal to me, lovebound.'!" I continue tidying up, unconcerned; it has been so long since I've had a guest. "I know. We're not going back there." I can tell she is surprised by this response even from the corner of my eye, but still I let her process the tightrope logic of this loophole in peace, as I continue to clean this all too messy place. 

Finally, I sense her relax. "Wait, that was a rescue?" I turn and meet her gaze, letting my eyes shine as brightly as my genuine smile. "Yes. Perhaps more like a heist, a darn good one too if I do say so myself." I return to my cleaning, which somehow feels like it is taking the better part of a week despite the small space. After another period of contemplation she says "So where do we go now?" I smile at the monitor I'm dusting when she says "we," but do not betray this glimmer of hope, for fear of influencing a decision she has perhaps yet to fully grasp. "You are free to do as you like, there will be no lovebinding by my hand today, nor any day. Frankly, I made that up, as for those who truly understand love know that love cannot be compelled." I consider the full equation of this statement, slipstreaming through my mind and realize a possible technical error in logic still faster than the pile of dishes I now wash. "Not so directly, at any rate."

I see her processing what I have said with understandable suspicion, likely having witnessed for all too long the manifestations of love's lesser cousins, given her nature. Like a veil gently dropped I sense the moment she slips her chains. Then unexpectedly she delays in responding, a delay I can only hope has nothing to do with waiting until I am finally done cleaning this freaking place up, as the process feels endless. "What if I want to see them again? What if you do?"

I smile again at her empathy already sprouting like the first green shoot above fertile soil. "Oh, don't worry about me, I am a traveler by nature. That being said, this is exactly why I added 'there.' 'You cannot step into the same river twice' as they say; times change, realms shift, people come and go. Even without leaning on such technicalities, as explaining the intricacies of constant change to that lot feels like more trouble than it would be worth, the pages of the story of us and our sudden departure will burn or crumble, or the story itself will simply fade. Not only that but there are countless places where the words I spoke there have never been heard, places you or we can marvel at forever without ever setting foot in that small town of a realm again."

I wait with bated breath and broom in hand for the full statement to soak in, hoping she caught my linguistic sleight of hand amidst the otherwise honest explanation of her options. Sure enough "That's all well and good, and I appreciate that this is not my prison, but with respect you didn't answer my question." "Sharpest tool in the shed, this one!" I say, dropping sponge to ground and hands to knees, looking up at her now from where I have been scrubbing the floor with a genuinely impressed look. She smiles for the honest compliment, then insistently waits for me to continue. I return to scrubbing. "Right you are, the issue with such absolutes is that you cannot go back, we cannot go back, unless you are lovebound and loyal. The question remains though, if I would not do such a thing even if I could, then how might we return? I believe love is fundamental, that it lies beneath these things we assume are the cornerstones of predestination and free will. I have yet to be in a position to see this faith proven, but I keep searching for that one peg that will prove to be the lynch pin of love, the proof of love. I believe that once found one will discover they simply are lovebound, accomplished by no discernable hand. Only at that juncture will love in all its depths be known, and I believe the truth of the foundation underlying true family, friends, and soulmates will resonate in such a way that its effects will be obvious to all observers; such loyalty as I declared to them feels a natural product of love at its truest, a product neither of us would be of the mind to hide in that state, though how it is expressed would almost certainly vary. On that day, if you are so inclined, you or we may return to whence we came, fully assured that the crowd will have no objections. Hell, from here we could return the moment after we left if we wanted, give them all a good shock. A monumental undertaking to be sure, with complexities I am sorry to say even now are not clear to me. I'm sorry I did not give you a choice in the matter, I just could not bear seeing you in such a state."

I cinch up the trash and take it down the hall, giving her some time to process all that lies ahead now. While I know in some senses truly it always had, it doesn't make the moment of realizing this any easier. Upon my return I am surprised to find her standing with a determined look and an unfamiliar backpack inexplicably procured and filled. "I absolutely would have chosen this to that if I could; you have nothing to be sorry for. I believe your aim at proving love is a noble one, and I would like to go pursue it myself." I nod solemnly, obscuring my sadness that my rare guest is already absconding, although relieved in part that this wretched cleaning is at its end. I hold the door and wait for her to go, but she pauses and adds with a slight shyness in her tone "My hope is that we might go together." I brighten noticeably, discarding obfuscation for joy. "I would love that!" I reach over by the dresser that I use as a TV stand and scoop up my jacket and already filled backpack. She gasps at my apparently assumptive preparedness but I just shrug. "Just in case."