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Showing posts from January, 2020

Noble State and Resolve

Some of the finer points of resolve have come into question today, but this makes sense in the face of the most noble path one can take. Entirely noble seems as undesirable as entirely ignoble, and with a lightning bolt storm surge acceleration through and through, at what juncture(s) can snares be set and sprung without toppling the rest of what has been built? That, I assume, will be the topic of this weekend, whether intentional or not.

Song bit-came instead of sleep

"I know what it's like to make a wish And have it all turn to stone To fight for love all your life And still wake up alone"

IO Scales Etched

The pines touch the sky Missing you is sweet sorrow Such I've never felt The water floods in Such a deluge as to drown What we've come to know This divided pain Soulless eyes calling "crazy!" Now just trained bird calls They can't touch us here So my green eyes float and spin As your blues dazzle Gills form at first splash We are at home anywhere We adapt and thrive The sun is shining Sparkling in the water As we learn to swim I see the darkness Just on the light's other side Connecting the pines I will always come Even when I say I won't You just have to ask 

Yeah, it was a hard day but...

Well, I mean yeah I feel them pounding on the gate, trying anything they can to shake me. I actually mean it this time, this concept of resolve is the real deal, a genuine super power. It may seem simple and mundane, albeit difficult, but where does the line between mundane and super actually lie? I'll tell you we all have superpowers already, those exceptional things about each and every one of us are tiny shoots springing from deep roots. I just chose love as my deepest root, and apparently have the power, on some level, to choose things and have them be unshakable, just like I think we all have. Love is no simple task though, not if one's goal is to plant it to the depths it must be rooted to for my aims. Love is as strong as death. Soulmate love, to understand it and find it, requires all manner of things under the sun to become reconciled, which means the strongest most targeted attacks and the most honeyed and perfumed temptations must all be resisted.  But in the search ...

Daydreaming

Turn to the day dream Occupied by so many Mindlessly working How might one walk here? Humbly with hands in pockets How might one test this What ends are noble? As our subconsciouses float Each day in this pool If things were lighter If connections were stronger We might have a chance So I start a chat Paddling around calmly With those that listen Planting a real flag To be carried to the (king/queen) To invite Parley "Let us speak freely No ties can be traced this deep By the audience This will take allies I am sure we can Parley And strike an accord." 

Secure Chamber, Certain Path

The reinforced walls Guarding my most sacred piece That which will not taint Crafted with resolve Angles deemed impregnable So they are. Amen. Shifting with a thought Roots in realms unreachable From where bulwarks stand Their source (is/not) secret Unintelligible form Drawn from divine words As you dig deeper Your quarry has evaded Before you set out The words unceasing Each enigmatic clue points To simplicity I know my soulmate The rest of this stems from that Colored in that light Every step closer No force strong enough to cleave That which God has cleaved 

Certain Path, Secure Chamber

Tired of the hike So I slipstream through the void Waking in her arms It happens sometimes This is random certainty A fine starting point Sideverse witnesses Have seen it with frequency It must be common I've seen it often Seemingly a certainty When I've outlasted So the rest decays What meaning it had now drained Forgetting the drive Coming to at home Her rushing into my arms This time I remain This is not a wish. This has already happened The effects growing I'm hibernating As the rest destroy themselves If that's what it takes 

The Aggressive Void

The aggressive void Demanding to be explored She starts by tempting When her wiles won't work The lioness then pounces Attacking with rage She will devour That which she considers prey Pulling you inside You will lose yourself Countless tiny pieces claimed Disintegrating Will your will remain? That depends on your resolve And knowledge you've gained With cunning motion One can stem this raging tide Taming this maelstrom But truth, why would you? Far better to endure rain Soaked with intention "No matter how far Or how lost she gets, she will Be caught in this cage."

Green and Blue the Roses are For You

I stare and realize I have forgotten to breathe Caught up in your eyes I take a sharp breath When I try to play it off I can only sigh Oh this compulsion I wouldn't trade it away For the whole world Let me stay lost here In your every subtley Your curves and edges Revisit roses Innocent purple and orange Passion, energy Betraying the truth I've loved you since I saw you A familiar spark So let us keep it This spark that lasts forever Constantly tended Delicately made With permanence once tempered Never ending joy 

On Healing, Reason, Logic, and Purpose

Finally healing One mistake by one misstep Resolve's gaps closing Do you ever feel Like you are remembering Some moments you live? Like your future self Recalling so vividly In a moment felt It still fits one way But sometimes passing strangers Can make you feel heard/seen/felt/known So perhaps we come Secure that the memory Must exist with self If I recognize Then I resolve to save her Like I'm saving you To do otherwise This would be my darkest sin Denying my charge Lord let me strengthen So that I do not exhaust As my road lengthens 

Communion

I was taking communion today and considering the vow of the Nazrite. Jesus indicated to do communion, which includes grape products, but a Nazrite is prohibited from grape products. This got me considering: what should a Nazrite who is also a Christian do in this case? The commands seem at odds with each other within that subset, and since Jesus was fulfilling the Law, not abolishing it, it seems that this special case is worth looking into. So I looked into it and as I was skimming through Leviticus, I came across the section on not drinking blood, which is Leviticus 17. I didn't catch until I was reading the verse that it was Leviticus 17:15 which says "Anyone, whether native-born or foreigner, who eats anything found dead or torn by wild animals must wash their clothes and bathe with water, and they will be ceremonially unclean till evening; then they will be clean." I have written about this before, in my research into baptism before getting baptized again. At first...

Crafting Instinct

Resolve To withstand myself I advance through inaction Gaining ground while still The ties that once bound Loosen every time I breathe And choose to abstain Focus The active inverse For the defense of resolve Sharpening senses Clarifying thought Forgetting while taking aim Sharpening purpose Determination I choose the outcome Through force of will I take steps Directing my thoughts This is my blessing To react as I see fit To act on my own Love I choose to retain The infinite spark of love And wonder at it  I gaze at pure hope At marvelous mystery Bright eyed, child like 

Analysing Fe(Phe)ar

Obsession without Desire for possession A novel feeling Attraction without The stinging bindings of lust A new kind of love Certainly manic Certainly with the same eyes The same reckless heart Curiosity Now waiting eyes closed to meet And explain these things Class wide solutions Demand an ambassador Who did I expect? The brightest flame shines To reveal where I've been blind Crafting sharper lines She lays now waiting A clear call with unclear ends You want to be friends? You feel familiar Not in a way I can place Your soul burns my way 

The Voice in Your Head

Lyrics that were never heard Echoing somehow in the smallest rooms And you know every word You sing them back in your own voice Wondering who could have spoken here In those eyes would you have a choice? Can you fall while in your deepest depths? Down paths unknown this stranger beckons How can you miss someone you've never met? They resonate just off rythym and key As if to challenge you to correct politely To form yourself uniquely around me The finest pearl The one lost long ago The one worth a kingdom A broken heartbeat A memory forgotten All else abandoned I just came to say hello Can you follow where I go? If not it's best you shine right here I'll still be the whisper in your ear 

God's Decision Tree

"What do you get for the guy who has everything?" I was just considering what God's decision tree would look like. In a video game, for example, when a choice is presented, you might decide on information such as power gain, character morals, what you know is coming up, etc. If you've ever played a video with the walkthrough website pulled up you know, in a microcosm, what omniscience feels like. If you've ever played a Paladin type character, you know what it means to have a decision made for you by the moral dilemma presented. The walkthrough would also let you pick the path that is most powerful (or the most efficient path to your aim depending on how you want to put it) as well. God would have pre-made decisions on the following parameters (at a minimum, off the top of my head), in our realm: Good, Just, Omniscience, Love. Even with these factors one can see how the decision God would make would be effectively already made in advance in each case, likely befor...

Resolve

I fight with myself A more worthy opponent Than those I face here All the frustrations All the obvious scheming All are meaningless If I stabilize No ploy or trap will move me So I turn within We have our vices While each seems to help, they harm They must be contained We have our duties Functionally meaningless They have their upsides If time must be served Let the term lapse in comfort So our thoughts can bloom I'll be like the dead Shuffling, completing tasks ((Take)ing) (for granted) Reversing their aims All the while time like water Flowing overhead 

Malaise and Tight Thread

Walk in the malaise Of not knowing what is left Or when this will end If nothing is fixed Then nothing is fixable In eternity If the paths are known If the outcome is secure Then why this struggle? I must have my love For forever and ever Or no end at all Can this be undone? If so, how can that exist? It's untenable. I will not see it So will I see anything? When does that chain end? "So the layers thread So none is done or undone And each is vibrant It would take Us all To undo this connection Every. Single. One."

Collatz Conjecture Parallel to Manic Thought Process

I have been pondering the Collatz Conjecture recently (start with a number, if odd, 3x+1; if even, /2. Is there any starting number that will never reduce to 1?). I have looked into the proofs and pathways on it and it seems that it is the type of puzzle with no solution, because a functionally infinite field of numbers could hypothetically be checked, but as of yet doing so provides no confirmed solution, or proof that it can not be done. I feel like this is similar to the thought process described as manic, because depending on your starting position you can become significantly entrenched in a problem (starting number), driving to its solution without stopping, at the cost of everything else. Eventually, it seems, you will end up back at square one (1: "normalized" position), but you will feel driven to try it again. For most things this means a strong focused push, stronger than those who don't think like you can generally muster, but for some things this will end up ...

Like a Bird

Sitting here floating Metallic ambivalence Without gravity What gold do you claim? Do you even know your name? Why'd you start this game? Let's craft some new gear We have our arrangements here So why not improve? We're fighting dragons There couldn't be betrayers Let's enjoy ourselves I amplify mine How about you reduce yours? Observe the results? See how few moments Can be stretched to 40 years With power to spare How can you resist Using power inherent And will uncontained? Allow me to show How lovely restraint can feel When angled just right

Clockwork

Why doubt the clockwork? The movement of several gears Aligned with events We assign value We measure days and seasons Does this make them real? Underground they see A perpetual story One moment to next How long might we last When events simply proceed Without cycling? How long might they last With everything repeating No sense of progress? By the light is seen A persistent redemption To begin again We assign value Record of past and future Is each moment fixed? Why doubt the framework? The actions of these people And all their known paths

Heeling Bite

I think I would split If I had your condition And head for the edge How can you expect Anyone to fall in love With one they can't shake? You overwhelm me I am close to giving up The ole' cut and run Then what might you do? All fire and no lightning A spark without flame What threads beside gold? I might just need to see that But don't come looking I will be around The static in the airwaves But you won't see me An echoing beat Maddeningly logical But just out of reach When you once miss me Simply count your Fox Feet steps 26 and home 

Primal Immutable Framework

Every fiber taught Clamoring now for the end Without a command A woven diamond Can't be crushed or unraveled Its edges within In spaces between Filling pockets between wings Pulsating elsewhere The beat of two hearts Separated for too long To leave or stay put Everything aligned The full force of everyone Still insufficient We walk together Stepping closer with each stride Ignoring their pull Will not required. Clever schemes not required. All I need is you. This is the framework. This is why it will happen. Inexorably.

Picking Locks

Regarding artificial intelligence, it seems a step in a line from processing to natural intelligence, at least from our perspective. I imagine the security, sovereignty, and validity of any individual that is artificially constructed will require advanced encryption. One does not want one's enemies able to hack the code and alter the way one's creation thinks, after all. A more fundamental issue seems to be though, does this entity have validity as consciousness if it can be so completely altered, even if solely by its creator?  Encryption is based on prime numbers, from my understanding, specifically prime products. This is true for current programming that is not considered to be sentient, and so it seems such encryption is along the line of processing to AI to consciousness I speak of. Specifically this seems to mean, since artificial intelligence would be built onto and woven through existing layers of programming techniques, that artificial intelligence, too, would be depe...

Phoenix Code

So I saw a moment where I was vulnerable- to the core, hypnotized. A suggestion not only needed to be made, but everyone knew this and anyone could speak. I was watching The Phoenix, under her command, and with what little was left of my will, I found myself wondering if it could all possibly still be a trick. At some juncture it must be impossible to know if it is or not (if you have always been in complete control then you have always been completely alone) in order to be certain outside of said intersection. I didn't care that I didn't know though, and it didn't matter to me in that state, so I stared bright eyed like a child awaiting her command, which henceforth could only be overwritten if more could be done, more deeply, and in a shorter time, in the future. It reminded me a whole lot of the time I tore myself apart and did my best to separate from God, and could feel enemies at my gates whispering to get their foot in the door. I saw her smile in that final moment o...

26

Hearing The Dreamer Somewhere in these lifeless halls Screaming "You are Home." Only half awake Hearing myself murmuring Replying "We're Home." I will not leave you It has become obvious I can not leave you Is it chivalrous To leave oneself no exit Shattered on these shores? Time and time again I break so You'll pick me up My Queen and Princess At this point unsure If I could avoid the fall I'm just missing You Still I sigh deeply Once more ripped from the daylight Mind killed and reset Once more You appear Smiling "It will be okay. This is not the end." The band plays the new riddle in full sight of all I cry out though like dead, stepping gladly in time

Semi-Solipsistic Serenade

Parabolic lull So exquisitely shaped such To seem unending So the sea subsides Sanguine tides subdue sublime Surf surrendering Recede wild waves Reseed damp beaches with palms Receipts of dark days Serenade my soul When silence seeps the shore Sing your siren song Memory slipping Sunny skies and skipping stones Of why we started Surely we'll succeed Will synchronicity stitch Sweet dreams in true time? If not we will drift Alternatingly mindless Along these curved slopes As I drift to sleep Your supremacy secured Surely swiftly scorned

Questions and Answers

Darkness encroaching In an augmented twilight I ponder the end How could you love me? This world has made a strong case That I am broken As the pieces drift What tide could reconcile Our life in my dreams? What use are these dreams When consciences returns here? When does this loop cease? Have you found new love? Of what use would I be then? Could I want to be? Can plans so perfect Tip the delicate balance To heaven and hell? Has my heaven you? But what of the thought of you? Hell a memory? Questions overwhelm My answer has stayed the same And it always will.

Resolution

I can't even care This world prepares for war It prepares to burn I have been laid low By a gold diamond shadow Perhaps by light seen By a careless face Too aligned with the story To not press its sting I am burning first Rumors of a war since lost Have me retreating To the darkened cave! To the halls that know me well To Oblivion I would have helped you I'd have mended everything If I had hope here But hope dwindles fast Singular light before night Flying to the cave Wake me from this dream Chalk it up as a nightmare I'll forget these screams

True Phoenix Dream

Fun intersection Replication without fuss Paths without walking Establishing hives And the value of value Assigned to my girl My girl taking helm Patching patches off my paths While I'm half asleep Million miles of fun Sacrificed for something real True fun, really real Kingdoms surrendered Machinations of the queen Over and over I'd give them all up If it meant being with (you) Without losing (her) Without losing me. Can such a thing be acheived? If it can, (we) will No way it could not The group of us on a team Inseparable 

Eternity

How many seconds are there in eternity? When the day bleeds And night falls The Earth burns And heaven screams   My scream shakes the rafters I burn slow amidst the flames I fall only when there is no option left As my blood seeps drop by drop like clockwork into dry soil Thoughts and reason all fail, but the question remains, and my answer stays the same. Silence fell in heaven. There was no fire left on Earth. Darkness rose once more, but could not be seen. The day was brought back to life, but no light could be found. Time passed impossibly slowly and an hour felt like an eternity.  No hills and no valleys, no spark and no chill, no light and no darkness, no indication it would ever end or that it had ever truly been anything but this. Elsewhere a roar could be heard Fire raged and it was good Darkness burned but not by light For blood was flame that day and night How many seconds are there in eternity?