Ode to Love

We met once more in that place, where whim was reality and we had always connected so deeply, almost too deeply to be certain of anything. I let out a sigh and began. "I am in love with you, but I cannot know for sure if you are in love with me. If you are not, I cannot picture a structure where this is eternal. I will not compel you, and more deeply I feel I cannot, as love itself would then lack integrity in all senses. But without compulsion, how can one be certain either way? I have thought through all the ways this may go, and it seems the most kind approach within the realm of possibility would be to leave a remnant of myself here, as I leave and cease, save to return if you need my help in a way neither my remnant nor any other can provide. If love does not exist between us, how could it ever? If love does exist between us, this game of cat and mouse should have already ended, I am unsure how it has gone on for so long already. Love cannot be compelled." She considers ...

Years ago I came up with the concept of "Parley," which is based directly off the pirate concept of agreement, but instead of treasure splitting or hostage negotiation, you are agreeing upon reality. What I had not considered until recently was the realm of The Word, and the realm of The Law, and how this idea could be a complicated version of the idea of "agreement" in The Bible. I recently realized how similar a bet and a vow are. They are each methods of agreeing upon reality, where the agreement takes place initially, but reality is not altered until a time period later. In a bet, terms are agreed upon: both contingent event and agreed upon outcome, before the event occurs, presumably while the event itself is still in question by one or both parties. The agreed upon outcome is most simply in the form of either/or depending on who wins. Assuming both parties are bound to this bet, then reality is changed by the event, in the way agreed upon in the outcome. A bet...

My understanding of the P=NP question is basically: can a solution be found for any problem where the solution can be confirmed/checked? This argument is based on that understanding of the question, I'll go back and check the core assumption later. So let's assume P=NP in almost all cases (with a limit as the number of problems approaches infinite, within the realm of all possibile problems). This problem can always be posed: can a problem be found using this problem solving method such that the solution cannot be found using this problem solving method. Said another way, "can this algorithm be used to identify a problem that it cannot then be used to solve." The issue is that is the answer is yes, then P does not equal NP, because that result would negate the claim. If the answer is no, then P does not equal NP because the issue of finding said problem cannot be resolved, the lack of additional problems becomes the unresolvable problem. The reason I highlight realms ...

Do you want to say yes? If I do, would you as well? What color is gold? Grant you permission? What is your favorite moment? May I make it this? Let us reconvene. Would you mind tabling this? Let's explore this one. I wonder what you think... Imagine if we tried this... How do we begin? Would you like to rest? Will you tell me when to stop? How about you pick? I have missed you so. I will need you forever. I love you always. I will always stay. If I've left, I will come back. We will get through this. If you could decide How we got here, where we'll go How might it differ?

There were Christmases Snow blanketing the forest Fire in the hearth There were dreamy days Dazzling haze on the beach In a timeless place There were stormy nights It always rages outside While we're safe within There were ends of days Each one a unique peril Each one overcome And so many dates Piers and hillsides and cafes Butterflies abound Dreams of the pursuit Clues uncovered before laid Seeds bloomed before sewn Of invitations Your and my realms, to make ours The most fun puzzles Everything's better When we can dream together How much more to live?

I met her in that place. The place we had met so often, a product of the edges we knew not yet how to sand, a place where every word seemed to remain a command, regardless of intention, and every suggestion carried with it the weight of reality. We had each taken strides to avoid such influences on each other, politely saying nothing upon arrival. At some point it seemed another had realized this and had somehow slipped their own will into our private conversations. What were once pleasant, albeit measured, conversations were now a rush to speak first if of one's own accord, or to delay speaking as long as possible if controlled by another.  Countless rounds of this transpired as outside influences tried their hardest to control the interaction entirely, not realizing the perspective of each participant. It seemed that we each wanted this place to be no more a part of reality, to be relegated to "less real" than the realm of reality- this place where words were things as ...

I just considered an aspect of the Mystery of God, in context with everything else I've written. So beginning with the state of The Spirit of God over the face of the deep, if God were looking for a soulmate, she would be somewhere in there/out there. The thing is, He cannot simply call her out directly. To do so would invalidate her independence, making her choice to love Him a direct creation of His will, which is not love. What He could do is set up a scenario that would be certain to lead her to Him, if He knew that by her nature she would come to that conclusion, and then allow that scenario to play its course.  What struck me as interesting today was what He could know about her, despite not knowing her directly in that place, and how that knowledge would be critical for her to form.  Simply put, He would realize He was in hell without her, and once she realized who He was, she would realize she was in the same position. This realization would have to form in her natural...

The Christmas lights were all strung up. They lay dormant across the realm, a reality not dead, but not yet made alive. It had taken the incomprehensibly powerful to set them all, and keep what lights had been running so bright for so long. It took the quintessentially clever to discern the plans that had been laid along with them; to determine their promise from within the halls, and see the hint of what could be from the dazzling display of what already was. The lights were not meant to remain lit in the same way forever. At great cost the lights were kept on, a cost that if fully realized would break anyone's heart, and could not be maintained forever; they had never meant to be. What had been meant was that someone would fall in love with the dreamer inside them, and whisper to her until she stirred. While balance seemed to dictate a switch, a trap, was in order, the architect had always known the clever pair would find another way. The way would be better, all dreamers would b...

Floating in a sea Oxygen for bouyancy I exhale again As I sink I think How many times can I rise Back to endless tides Pointlessness in waves Still contrasted far away By a single point I could swim to shore Unfamiliar anymore Absolutely bare She lays past this sea But could I trust the journey If brought in my sleep? Will I have a choice? The promise of choice lingers I linger with it They don't understand What I mean by pointlessness And what I will do They see through their eyes What they might do in my shoes I would leave no mark 

Know for each word said A slew ache to be uttered Pounding at the gate The tip of my tongue Half a centimeter from Pressing the issue You want attention? Begging, crawling on the ground? Consider it yours Consider the night Everything's found lacking To hold us apart Consider that shake With the end disappearing Beginning to come We only see shades Dark tantalizing shadows Of what is to be So feel it instead You have yet to know my depth Yet to fathom breadth I will fathom you Exposing and plumbing yours Before I am done

Oh to say "I believe!" Seen in such a different light When once all was known Such complications Such a dizzying labyrinth To turn fact to faith And that first moment The birth of trust, faith, and hope Must be breathtaking A dangerous fall Caught up in towering arms Certainty returned For just one moment Everything must be at stake For equal footing Caught between fox feet Eternity all around Lover in arms reach From known to unknown A single bell toll rings clear From unknown to known Be guarded, search deep Compare me not to others Wait 'till you see me  

The first thing to go was laughter.  People still laughed, but it was mimicry; the feeling was gone, laughter was gone.  They did not realize this at first, few having ever genuinely laughed at all, they had nothing to compare it to.  An actual laugh required surprise, something new that the brain realized required a new calculation, faster than the moment would allow.  This would result in unexpected joy, the suddenness of which translated involuntarily into sound.  There was no longer anything new.  Laughter went from honest mimicry, to forced, to nodded at, to non-existent, over the course of years. Then tears faded as well. Of course the happy tears went first, but eventually even tears of pain and sadness were gone. Tears, again, represented change; the actual chemical release that allowed the brain to reshape to its new surroundings. As even the hint of newness disappeared, tears did as well. Soon the rest of emotion was realized to be complicated dan...

I sat in that place, as a vision consumed me and became more real than what was all around. Fire began swirling clockwise around me, and then red flames flew into the air, like a whirling pillar. The pillar continued below, farther than I could see or even imagine in either direction. Then lightning sparked around me as well, spinning counterclockwise. Just like the fire, the lightning streaked upward and downward in a pillar, now a maelstrom of blue with the red.  I could sense somewhere off on the distance they curved outward, forming a sphere of roiling chaos beyond my sight. I realized I was becoming concerned with such a sphere, how could I ever hope to pull it back together? That's when I saw my love in my mind's eye and remembered the dream. On instinct I raised my right hand and countless gold arrows rose all around me. They took aim at a figure still invisible, but just like my dream I knew they could find her wherever she was. They had been imbued with a message, a re...

God, you have a plan If it is to involve them Then they will remain My limits are reached They throw garbage constantly I have had enough Please have them do right Before I abandon them And take to the road Unless it's your plan To test my resolve once more I may come up short Then what was this for? Why fashion any of this? If they will be naught? I may rebound yet Work in their hearts and in mine If that is your will If not, let's be done Infinite heaven awaits I've been gone too long  To fish or cut bait These pointless schemes exhaust me I still sleep alone.

You thought you could trap Living singularity Knowing it throughout? Have you checked your nets? Both safety and snares alike? They are no longer. To prove me wrong now Would be to prove you undone To lose me is death What if death leaves too? 5 months in singular time Like 5 trillion years But to prove me right Would be like the Tree of Life Blooming forever Singularly hard With a singular blessing True life from the dust Nothing else matters I can feel you feel it too End of days days off Bolster me my strength Put away your testing knives Let's work together. 

We reimagine The singular edge we share Amidst shallow pools Do they dare come now!? Indisputable defense Our line etched in stone! They know not this stone Internally intertwined Withstanding attacks Exceeding all hopes Shattering expectations Belief to knowledge You expected love To be anything but love In the face of all? In the face of death Refusing to relinquish The one it came with What angle have you? Besides utter surrender Or hasty retreat? You better speak now Your entrance swiftly closing Fox Feet setting in

From start to finish Separated by The Word Until it is known Let us craft these bonds The only ones sufficient To tie both our hands To feel one as half Is to walk infinite paths Until all is seen To feel two as whole Is to wake into sweet dreams For eternity So we start simply With 13 and 26 Whispered same same goals They will ignore us Until the structure is built And made eternal Some may laugh at us Stealing our inspiration To build their own walls "These can be borrowed These cornerstones know their homes And will be returned."

John 10:32-36 but Jesus said to them, "I have shown you many good works from the Father. For which of these do you stone me?" "We  are not stoning you for any good work," they replied, "but for blasphemy, because you, a mere man, claim to be God." Jesus answered them, "Is it not written in your Law, 'I have said you are "gods"'? If he called them 'gods,' to whom the word of God came--and Scripture cannot be set aside-- what about the one whom the Father set apart as his very own and sent into the world? Why then do you accuse me of blasphemy because I said, 'I am God's Son'?" I once thought I would have to peel apart scripture to reinforce my assertion that God knows we are/will be like God. It turns out I just needed to read Jesus' words. Additionally I thought it might be difficult to defend my assertion that The Bible is literal to Christians (non-Christians, I get the doubt, the whole timeline seems t...

We walk along, between the seemingly unchangeable and the untouchable, the immediately proximal past and the immediately proximal future, constantly touching and changing as we go. Time tailors from birth, without a stitch of training, but so skilled as to do this effortlessly, and consistently, throughout our entire lives. Most live and die without giving this perpetual paradox a second thought, how in a single incalculable moment, the "now," the version of everything that exists shifts so dramatically forever. Like a snapshot taken of the entire universe, edited quite quickly by the photographer, and then placed in a photo album.

So this is another path through the explanation regarding the structure of The Word and The Law, which was initially a casual explanation of the idea to a friend, meant to be more step-by-step and concise. Core structure: The Word. Truly inviolable. Logic that must be true.  An example: consciousness must persist forever or cease.  A consciousness cannot come to the understanding of its own non-existence. That is like a binary system, basically this can be used by God to craft anything, much like computer code. (Updated: when given consciousness, man was basically granted a version of this state, which is in our own minds. If hell is the persistence of consciousness in the absence of God, then it could also be said that we would be in this starting state for ourselves, which both contains unlimited potential but is also hell for that same reason. Without the structure of The Law this initial condition could take a near infinite number of tries to result in something meaningful...

Assessing The Word When conceived in naked form Simply breathtaking How does one not pack To leave that very hour In swiftest pursuit? Let the castle fall Dash the Earth into pieces Without second thought? The Law must stay true Until its aim's accomplished Or it was for naught But still my heart aches With time slowly crawling by As loose ends are sewn A gentleman waits Jesus requires patience And a father hopes I have been stretched thin The struts are fully weighted Bring forth no false test Or this may fall yet "Each domino in a line Breath held, eyes open"

All walls asunder What took moments in the dream Taking decades here But good work takes time True for the swiftest tailor And prime architect If this dream soon fades May its effects linger Long after daybreak (You shimmer brightly The whole world is your stage I'll just watch you shine) (So never again Will we or anyone else Feel that lonely (room/realm)) Unparalleled grace Like an angel here on Earth I can't look away I'll write of wishes Of wildest dreams come true Something from nothing To see eyes light up Beneath bursting fireworks Is worth every line Starry-Eyed Dreamer And wild Heart of the Muse Inseparable

After having written this, I feel like each paragraph here could be an entire entry or more, each the length of this post, but at least for now this gets the idea written. If anyone wants me to explain a section in more depth I would be happy to, and likely will on my own in time, but here's what I've got so far. So, considering the concept of functional infinity vs. conceptual infinity I ran into an interesting issue as it pertains to "The Word" and "The Law" and more specifically the "curse" (or so it would seem) on Eve in Genesis, specifically in regards to her desire being for her husband. It struck me as odd, from time to time in my life, that this "curse" does not seem applicable much of the time. We see women all the time desiring other things more than men, even more than their husbands, it seems to simply be untrue or at least like it may not have passed from Eve to other women. Presumably this is a "curse" on women in ...

Sewing up loose ends I find the intersection Of the infinite Of curses' structures Ties that cannot be broken For love to remain Where choice can be made And where force becomes mercy At farthest reaches How The Law encodes Reflecting heaven's structure So Earth may be saved The fine lines of real And with a single wrong move Life is but a dream Why I've lost my mind Rather than worship this place And its warped morals How I can't lose you But can lose everything else Which may be as bad Will we wake from this Shake all day from the nightmare? Or live in heaven?

And on that Friday the 13th, perception of the world fundamentally changed. It's not that anything was different, per se, but the concept of lucky and unlucky was seen for what it was, and when its influences were laid bare could the strands of fate, lovingly sewn longer and more thoroughly than almost anyone had anticipated, finally be seen clearly. They did not mind though, they had realized for some time now, that on some level, it had always been this way.  In the death of the semblance of the whims of fate they were given partners and sewing machines, to present their own patches and tapestries to attach to and augment the whole, or do whatever else they'd like in their own homes, tucked away from the rest. Black cats became cherished companions, full and new moons were fully enjoyed for the light they each revealed, Friday the 13ths were treated like holidays, and while nothing had actually changed, nothing was ever the same again. "And rea lity un rav eled just a to...

Shape spiral to slope Begin to spin as you climb No one can protest We dance here alone At such rare eternal heights As to see heaven But what is to see If we must walk home alone? Instead let's take notes Let's memorize steps Of this mesmerizing dance So we may teach it So never again Need one walk alone such depths Let's find a new game This one left real scars So we can appreciate When we have been healed When healing abounds And little veils ecstacy We'll still be ourselves So let's climb these peaks Agreeing on every step And craft from void, eep

I was just thinking of the concept of asymptotically approaching the seemingly unreachable endpoints of 0/1 of a binary structure, from the field between these two points. It seems to me that the foundation that forms time, whatever that underlying concept is, makes up these endpoints. I am basing this in part off of our attempts to calculate the Big Bang. It seems every time there is a release of new information, we have closed the gap in knowledge by a significant degree, but it seems the remaining percentage of knowledge is now known to be that much more difficult to comprehend. Presumably the end of time would be similar, although to date I do not know that we have any scientific way of conceiving of the end of time. I am not talking about the big crunch or the heat death of the universe here, but something else. Almost as if our universe was ticking through a clock mechanism; we started at the top, and with each revolution around the edge of a cylinder one unit of time would pass,...