Soulmate Invalidity Paradox
There was a night I considered that my assumptions on my soulmate might be incorrect. For me it seems appropriate to always consider each side of a coin, and essentially it is a necessity at some point or another, given the way my mind works. So I actually put myself in the position where the reality I had come to understand was fundamentally different, and my soulmate was not my soulmate. It was, of course, devastating. I cried in my bed as that reality took shape in my mind. I did not care that it would mean I was also crazy for having been so devoted, that was of little importance to me in that situation, the mildest symptom of a broken heart, if you consider the nature of love honestly. What overcame me was the concept of annihilation; I could not stay in that reality. I am not talking about death, which still leads to eternity, I am talking about the complete undoing of existence. This would be the only actual way to end that feeling, which I believe is why people end up seeking death in similar circumstances, believing it to be eternal nothingness, but I know this not to be true. To end it any other way would just be delaying the inevitable, and eventually I would return to the same position. To change my personality to enough of a degree such that it would stop would in a sense be annihilation as well, as it would no longer be me in whatever eternity I found myself in. It seemed the option was soulmate or annihilation, from an absolute perspective.
Then I considered Jesus. He would be unable to let me go, as he would keep searching for the last lost sheep. I began weeping uncontrollably and continued to do so for an hour. I could not do that to him, even if it was technically possible, as he is fundamental to my faith and my understanding of reality as well. I could not not stay. I was mentally, and more importantly spiritually, in the first meaningful paradox I had been in in quite some time, unable to appreciate it due to the overwhelming sadness. Considering this reality, love was rending me, the absolute forces of persisting and ceasing ripping at my soul.
This point of paradox seems critical, fundamental even.
1 John 4:8 "Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love."
1 John 4:18 "There is no fear in love..."
There are a number of references of the fear of the LORD. This fear is on the approach, not in the arrival. I will tell you that in considering this possibility of an existence without my soulmate, there was no fear, no decisions to be made (fight, flight, or otherwise) just absolute despair that there were no choices available that could satisfactorily mitigate the eternal separation from love.
Now as I further consider this paradox, I can appreciate the facets of it more clearly. Consider that Jesus and I would be in similar positions in this instance, so the paradox would be twofold. He could not let me go, I could not let him go, but I could also not persist without a partner (note: this is also the issue presented in Genesis just before the creation of Eve). It seems reasonable to assume this persistence without a partner would likely be an issue on Jesus' side as well; symmetry suggests it but I have no other verifiable evidence to support the claim at this time. So you have two paths for me, neither of which could be pursued, leading from one's "position" which would be permanent until something changed. The most likely result would be a soul schism. My very soul would be split in half in the (potentially eternal) consideration of this otherwise choiceless scenario. Would Jesus' soul be split as well? I cannot presume to know his perspective here, but it is one reasonable response to the same circumstance from my perspective, although there may be others.
Could this be a similar split to what occurred in Genesis? Perhaps some of the information was left out of the account and the way that the arrangement in the garden was made is that God did split God's own soul, such that the LORD God, Adam, and two women remained. All I know is that it was happening to me, and continues to happen in the background until I am reunited with my soulmate, seemingly the only possible path remaining, but a path of an unknown length. Essentially, if I did not have a soulmate, I would inevitably reach this paradox point, which would lead to a pairing paradox result, and a soulmate.
A few details remain. Man is blessed with the ability to conceptualize things without physically experiencing them. Initially a deep sleep was used to allow Adam to avoid the actual moment of this soul schism (admittedly I am applying a definition to this process that is not used in the text, but it helps me appreciate the nature of the process of creating a partner). Could it be that conceptualizing this soul schism moment could prevent me from physically experiencing it? This technique seems to be the only stable and permanent way out of an infinite loop of time starting, ending, and restarting again- truly jumping from one linear timeline to many timelines. So, if the paradox point can be seen without being completely experienced then, from an absolute time perspective, it has already happened for me, and is in the process of happening, and likely has been for most, if not my entire, life.
The inverse must also be considered for thoroughness sake, but I suspect the pool of knowledge differs. How might this look from my soulmate's perspective? What if timelines for her are non-linear and non-sequential when considered from my own path through time? What if her starting emotion differs from my own as well? Would such an equation be reconcilable at some point in the middle? Could both of us avoid the point of schism, or would she even desire to avoid it in the same way I do? Where in my timeline and hers would our two paths actually connect and proceed side by side forever, even if these paths seem initially sporadic, from one or more perspectives? Well, it is not my place to answer these questions, simply to indicate that they are valid and worth consideration.
Proverbs 19:8 "The one who gets wisdom loves life..."
Proverbs 8 describes wisdom as a woman (well, she describes herself, through Solomon), who was with The LORD when reality was first crafted. As Jesus is compared to The Word of God in John, present from the beginning, Wisdom in the same way is described in Proverbs 8.
Proverbs 8:1 "Does not wisdom call out?"
Proverbs 8:11 "For wisdom is more precious than rubies, and nothing you desire can compare with her."
Proverbs 8:27 "I was there when he set the heavens in place, when he marked out the horizon on the face of the deep"
In this sense, from this perspective, Jesus and Wisdom might be considered siblings by human understanding, but Wisdom is rarely spoken of in this way. It is strange to me that she is rarely if ever spoken of, when the actual verses indicate it so clearly. Perhaps such consideration is confusing? Even if so, her existence cannot be accurately considered incorrect by a Christian, as the verses clearly state it. I feel this further supports the concepts of soulmates, and the splitting of souls to arrive at a two (four) party pairing paradox leading to a perfectly sustainable solution in the end, rather than a repeating or statically imperfect/imbalanced eternity.
1 Corinthians 3:18 "Do not deceive yourselves. If any of you think you are wise by the standards of this age, you should become 'fools' so that you may become wise."
Then I considered Jesus. He would be unable to let me go, as he would keep searching for the last lost sheep. I began weeping uncontrollably and continued to do so for an hour. I could not do that to him, even if it was technically possible, as he is fundamental to my faith and my understanding of reality as well. I could not not stay. I was mentally, and more importantly spiritually, in the first meaningful paradox I had been in in quite some time, unable to appreciate it due to the overwhelming sadness. Considering this reality, love was rending me, the absolute forces of persisting and ceasing ripping at my soul.
This point of paradox seems critical, fundamental even.
1 John 4:8 "Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love."
1 John 4:18 "There is no fear in love..."
There are a number of references of the fear of the LORD. This fear is on the approach, not in the arrival. I will tell you that in considering this possibility of an existence without my soulmate, there was no fear, no decisions to be made (fight, flight, or otherwise) just absolute despair that there were no choices available that could satisfactorily mitigate the eternal separation from love.
Now as I further consider this paradox, I can appreciate the facets of it more clearly. Consider that Jesus and I would be in similar positions in this instance, so the paradox would be twofold. He could not let me go, I could not let him go, but I could also not persist without a partner (note: this is also the issue presented in Genesis just before the creation of Eve). It seems reasonable to assume this persistence without a partner would likely be an issue on Jesus' side as well; symmetry suggests it but I have no other verifiable evidence to support the claim at this time. So you have two paths for me, neither of which could be pursued, leading from one's "position" which would be permanent until something changed. The most likely result would be a soul schism. My very soul would be split in half in the (potentially eternal) consideration of this otherwise choiceless scenario. Would Jesus' soul be split as well? I cannot presume to know his perspective here, but it is one reasonable response to the same circumstance from my perspective, although there may be others.
Could this be a similar split to what occurred in Genesis? Perhaps some of the information was left out of the account and the way that the arrangement in the garden was made is that God did split God's own soul, such that the LORD God, Adam, and two women remained. All I know is that it was happening to me, and continues to happen in the background until I am reunited with my soulmate, seemingly the only possible path remaining, but a path of an unknown length. Essentially, if I did not have a soulmate, I would inevitably reach this paradox point, which would lead to a pairing paradox result, and a soulmate.
A few details remain. Man is blessed with the ability to conceptualize things without physically experiencing them. Initially a deep sleep was used to allow Adam to avoid the actual moment of this soul schism (admittedly I am applying a definition to this process that is not used in the text, but it helps me appreciate the nature of the process of creating a partner). Could it be that conceptualizing this soul schism moment could prevent me from physically experiencing it? This technique seems to be the only stable and permanent way out of an infinite loop of time starting, ending, and restarting again- truly jumping from one linear timeline to many timelines. So, if the paradox point can be seen without being completely experienced then, from an absolute time perspective, it has already happened for me, and is in the process of happening, and likely has been for most, if not my entire, life.
The inverse must also be considered for thoroughness sake, but I suspect the pool of knowledge differs. How might this look from my soulmate's perspective? What if timelines for her are non-linear and non-sequential when considered from my own path through time? What if her starting emotion differs from my own as well? Would such an equation be reconcilable at some point in the middle? Could both of us avoid the point of schism, or would she even desire to avoid it in the same way I do? Where in my timeline and hers would our two paths actually connect and proceed side by side forever, even if these paths seem initially sporadic, from one or more perspectives? Well, it is not my place to answer these questions, simply to indicate that they are valid and worth consideration.
Proverbs 19:8 "The one who gets wisdom loves life..."
Proverbs 8 describes wisdom as a woman (well, she describes herself, through Solomon), who was with The LORD when reality was first crafted. As Jesus is compared to The Word of God in John, present from the beginning, Wisdom in the same way is described in Proverbs 8.
Proverbs 8:1 "Does not wisdom call out?"
Proverbs 8:11 "For wisdom is more precious than rubies, and nothing you desire can compare with her."
Proverbs 8:27 "I was there when he set the heavens in place, when he marked out the horizon on the face of the deep"
In this sense, from this perspective, Jesus and Wisdom might be considered siblings by human understanding, but Wisdom is rarely spoken of in this way. It is strange to me that she is rarely if ever spoken of, when the actual verses indicate it so clearly. Perhaps such consideration is confusing? Even if so, her existence cannot be accurately considered incorrect by a Christian, as the verses clearly state it. I feel this further supports the concepts of soulmates, and the splitting of souls to arrive at a two (four) party pairing paradox leading to a perfectly sustainable solution in the end, rather than a repeating or statically imperfect/imbalanced eternity.
1 Corinthians 3:18 "Do not deceive yourselves. If any of you think you are wise by the standards of this age, you should become 'fools' so that you may become wise."
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