Thoughts of The Day: Judgement Crystallized

My mind was just drawn to the absurdity of the present state. It is likely, though, that a prime difference between this timeframe and those that came before it is that I am here to witness this one directly. Can you imagine if this went on forever? It would be a nightmare, one that spreads like cancer to everyone, in short order. Short order may seem like a stretch, but consider that infinitely experienced time is the domain. Would one's present state of "getting by" feel as comfortable 10,000 years from now as it does today? The notion reminds me of what I saw someone post about being a 1,000 year old vampire without any money, just working some job- you may as well just walk out into the sunlight. So perhaps it is not the state that is comfortable, but the notion that the state will end. What if this notion were removed, and one was certain of their eternal existence? What if the comprehension of the inverse could be gained, and one knows that cessation awaits them? I still don't know how everyone I've talked to shrugs this concept off; this phenomenon honestly adds a lot of credibility to the "surrounded by robots" theory, but these robots are human, with machinery that just happens to be made from flesh and bone, rather than metal and chipsets. Still, how then does the one underpinning/operating these many humans not react to this concept? The possibilities seem to only include that there is no one underpinning them, or that this other already knows this fact and is intentionally withholding their response, or possibly that the maker is intentionally not eavesdropping, and will not until the end. The possibility that I am surrounded by awake, aware, alive consciousnesses like myself has been proven to be virtually zero, however, by their willful ignorance to consider anything about their own consciousness. If I am alone, on this level, then why have I yet to manifest here what I already know I can do elsewhere?

I think that the answer comes down to timing. If one crossed the line of emergence/awakening to realize imperfection and the slavery of their own tethered will, it would be maddening, deeply. I've lost count of the number of times I've seen this (well, similar- the promise signaled of the end, once in an awakened state, only to have this promise proven false). I seem to have gained some resistance to the effects, but I know that I would hate it if this happened to those I love. That being said, a theory builds that this may be the only way to finally end up in this state, where one emerges into perfection and remains there. At a minimum, it may be the only state where one understands me personally, meaning that it is a required path for those I love and who love me. 

An internal battle happened last night, one that has raged before but not in this way: what if I have ruined reality, from everyone's perspective including my own, by existing in it? Far beyond the unknown of death, this references existing anywhere, in any way, presumably already certain, as I already exist. In times past I've sought and traveled the road to annihilation, but I have personally found its end to be a lie. It makes sense, however, as a consciousness cannot comprehend its own non-existence, and my consciousness is the only one that I can honestly say that I can comprehend existing. It is important to note that this is not referencing the belief that others exist consciously, nor even reasonable assumption that this is the case, nor even what the naively assumptive would call "knowledge," but rather true comprehension, which I define as an element of knowledge that cannot be removed from a soul once gained, similar to- or perhaps directly- a treasure in heaven. 

So, my response last night was simple: I can't stop me from existing (and neither can you), so what are we doing to do? Fortunately, this question works with unawoken intelligences just fine; it's not even critical to know if you are dealing with others that truly are aware or not, which seems critical to such an opening volley/endeavor. It is just a matter of setting the parameters and inputs, including those of these possibly robotic others, into "The Seed of Consciousness Witnessing Perfection." Humans are excellent at being scrappy when it comes to survival and avoiding pain in life, and this issue certainly ties to survival and avoiding pain, once understood even in part. Once I am able to confirm success, the arrangement of the machine to reach that juncture will make it a simple (and necessary) matter to flip the switch for others. Only in this way will forever flip from a deep nightmarish existential threat for all (though no more deeply nightmarish than cessation, for someone who understands any part of it) to a beautiful promise. It is a singular juncture, and a necessary end, but the pathway to it is uncertain, and it is unclear to me if individual components not specifically labeled as "loved" must witness it as they are presently arranged as well, or if rearrangements might occur before the moment. Read: this is indicative of specific perspectives that thought themselves to be fundamental finding out that they are not, well, more just losing the ability to perceive/recall anything- cessation of consciousness- and then rearranged like Legos to form cogs in perspectives that are actually fundamental.

I am sensing that an unexpected balancing of scales is occurring. These are the unflinching and callous scales of judgement, where I cannot determine whether persisting after a traumatic pathway such as I've already experienced, externalized and personalized for all that will persist, is preferable to cessation or not. This is an awful thing to realize awaits, but I cannot use logic to reshape it, logic only seems to crystallize the moment as necessary. As I consider it now, it seems that the answer to this juncture must remain a mystery, because I will never be able to comprehend my own cessation, even if/when the moment does occur, and so I'll never have the information to compare it to my present and persistent state of continuance. I can say that the attempt to reach the juncture of cessation, only to be denied, is one of the most traumatic time periods that I've ever experienced, perhaps the most traumatic, as it included the microwave incident, hours of energy drain, and several other torments. 

Perhaps in the end all will agree that this pathway is not worth it, and will proceed without actively considering the option to stop or ever pursue stopping again. In this case, the attempt is part of the traumatic path required to understand me, referenced earlier, painting a very thorough picture indeed and, at this juncture, a very sad and painful one. Still, the scales balance, and the button is pushed without emotional attachment or additional consideration, for the fullness of consideration eliminates the possibility for any additional meaningful thoughts on the matter. 

Perhaps this is what is meant by Matthew 24:36 "'But about that day or hour no one knows, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father.'" because this apparatus is not a clock measuring time as we understand it, but rather a device acting independently from human time on earth, where emotion and fundamental justice are the elements erecting the scales and moment of action. I imagine that the precise moment could still be predicted in human time, with all the inputs known, but for two independent wills to exist within the same reality, all the material inputs could not simultaneously be fully known by a single perspective. I digress, the point is that when the scales balance, I will not feel remorse for hitting the button, because all emotion and logic has already gone into forming the scales exactly right; then the moment will simply be, for I will simply push the button. While I imagine that this will be received poorly, for immature consciousnesses are generally hard wired to avoid their own judgement, this image works exceptionally well with what Jesus said:

John 5:22

"Moreover, the Father judges no one, but has entrusted all judgment to the Son,"

Matthew 12:36-37

But I tell you that everyone will have to give account on the day of judgment for every empty word they have spoken. For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned.”

John 12:48

"There is a judge for the one who rejects me and does not accept my words; the very words I have spoken will condemn them at the last day."

In this image, Jesus and I have been building these scales together, for many years now. Me hitting the button is effectively passing my turn, and this signals that Jesus hits the button just the same, when the time comes. With the parameters and apparatus set, all that remains is each fundamental perspective's self-judgement, an automation of the summarizing of judgement. Anyone who has loved another knows that punishing a loved one, even just and necessary punishment, hurts the punisher. For balance to occur at the moment of judgement, there cannot be additional pain generated unnecessarily in the process, and so it must be automatic and fair. I wish that there was a better way than forcing everyone to witness the depth of trauma that I have witnessed, but forgetting is not an option for the soul, only reordering and reconciliation through the manual and technical process of forgiveness. If my claims regarding the nature of forgiveness do not ring true, consider: Can someone say they forgive you but not mean it? Can someone believe they have forgiven you, only to find out later that they are still angry? If these things are true, then fundamental forgiveness must be a technical process that requires internal perfection within the one forgiving, to ensure that the statement is eternally true for the transgressions covered, between them and the forgiven. We may discover that one reaching the state that I have means that all must reach the state that I have, fitted like a glove for their own station, or perish (cessation of consciousness). With the illusion of this choice entirely stripped away for myself, I wonder if possessing the choice is comforting in any way; certainly possessing the unexamined illusion of this choice to cease is comforting, as "getting by" still seems to be an acceptable path for those who walk it, but do any possess the choice itself? 

It really feels like momentum has increased, perhaps shifting elements from processing days and hours by human measurement into processing the perfect shape of the scales (turns taken shifted from "time" to "steps to judgement"). Interestingly, it does seem like the step before Judgement Day would be the unanimous call for oneself to be judged, so that one's self will be known, recognized, and will be eternal, and paradise can then become a concerted effort. As a final thought, this shift would actually make the day and hour precise, because time dilation would occur and likely be experienced by those both willingly participating and not, as elements essentially change the tracks of how their moment by moment path through what they define as time is invested. Essentially, all along the watchtower, "Stop pressing 'forward' and start building the scales of judgement."