Believed Beliefs

The concept of belief has come to mind again in these last couple of days, and I realized something funny about the concept. 

I feel like a commonly accepted definition of a belief would be something that one holds true, without knowing that it is true, typically bearing some level- and in some/many cases a deep level- of personal importance. While not all beliefs carry such personal significance, it feels as though core, personally impactful, beliefs are what are first thought of, for example if asked "What are your beliefs?".

I realized recently that one cannot say with certainty what one beliefs are, on a fundamental level. One can express certainty, but one can only consciously believe what ones belief's are; this is because one's beliefs are core, thorough, and held by both the subconscious and conscious mind collectively, rather than just by the consciousness that is able to assess or express belief. Only by establishing perfect communication between one's subconscious and conscious mind could I conceive of one knowing one's beliefs.

I feel as though this point is made most clear when one's beliefs are truly tested. Most commonly this is in the area of near death experiences, other traumatic events, but also could occur with positive things. I am not referencing situations where new information is directly provided or experienced, such as hearing someone talk about their religion and gravitating toward that belief system, or experiencing a "light at the end of the tunnel" type event and incorporating the experience into one's beliefs. Rather, I speak of events that shake one to the core, and one finds that what they held as their beliefs have "changed." This does not strike me as much as an actual change, as there were no direct influences to the information available regarding the beliefs themselves, but a revelation from one's subconscious, perhaps like a message making it through a crack in the wall of internal communication, opened by a major event. Two common or at least relatable examples that come to mind for me right now are someone who has never believed in God praying when in peril, or one drifting from their believed beliefs when gaining wealth.

It is just interesting to me that humans, operating both consciously and subconsciously but directly communicating consciously, cannot know what they themselves fundamentally believe. I also find the threshold of belief and knowledge even more fascinating for this reason, because of this second layer, recently identified (from my perspective), between believed beliefs and true beliefs (not even considering a known lie- even to oneself- regarding belief, but genuinely believed beliefs). I am now imagining a staircase like structure along this path of uncertainty, and how many steps there might be within one's own awareness, between the unknown and known.

Mark 9:24

Immediately the boy’s father exclaimed, “I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!”