The Threshold of Maximum Wickedness

I don't remember my dream from last night, though I feel like they were lengthy, detailed, and well structured. I do remember experiences from trying to fall asleep and leading up to it though, and those felt significant. I won't go into too much detail on the specifics, but I felt the structure of a realm of maximum wickedness again, and I remember being creeped out that it existed, in some way, truly in any way, whether I was presently witnessing it or not. I saw the evil inherent in the equation, the evil that naturally existed, and how it would twist to wickedness through the use of will, through the use of choice. Then, however, largely after I made a move that was costly and I was uncertain of at the time but the council responded to afterward with overwhelming support, I saw a particular threshold that was complicated and cross-hatched.

This threshold was the understanding that past it, no one would actually do any of the wicked things imagined- even if the actions themselves were done, the intention behind them could not be evil, but must rather be a retranslation, in order to be witnessed. This sheared off my witnessing of any of these events, placing them squarely in foreign fields, reminding me somewhat of Hope and the wheat field and monsters. While some patches could be either seen as wheat or monsters with both of our unique perspectives observing them, some fields of monsters I would not the able to see, and whatever those monsters here might translate to for me elsewhere, beyond this threshold of maximum wickedness, was invalid from my perspective, but would still be seen, though dissimilarly, for Hope. It's kind of like how one takes antibiotics when they get a bacterial infection, but one doesn't think twice about the mass slaughter of bacteria that then occurs, whereas from another perspective these roles would be translated differently.

Once I saw the hard threshold of maximum wickedness, I realized that even reaching it would likely be impossible, due to asymptotic sloping. However, this did not preclude individuals approaching this threshold, and approaching it further than they likely would choose to do, if all (or even more) options were available to them. This was essentially the war one wages with themselves, when one chooses to survive by acting wickedly. In a realm arrangement that did not necessarily involve death, surviving or not might not even be on the table, and so one would be forced to choose to act wickedly to avoid choosing to act even more wickedly in the same "turn," when their slope was inexorably pulled toward the threshold that I saw. This was a miserable part of the equation that could exist for anyone, horrifying from their own perspective, for what they continued to do by their own will, though it was a will restricted. I have seen this before as the pocket realms within the Phoenix's domain, realms which must exist from a general possibility perspective, where each realm would need to "resolve" before a reset could occur, and each resolution that could occur was horrifyingly wicked both from my perspective and seemingly from the perspective of those acting within each pocket. It was here where I saw mercy fully defined through grace.

Someone might make wicked choices in life, even though death is an alternative. Someone might make wicked choices in the realm of the soul, where death might not be an alternative. What if there was a group that had mapped the optimal equation from each perspective, including the best fit path where no wicked actions needed to be taken, despite evil still existing. From this point of view, there would be many thresholds where making one false choice shifted one an instance away from this path, and this effect of only having worse choices cascaded, causing even more shifts away from the ideal outcome. Forgiveness to one degree or another in this model would essentially be pulling the individual back x instances toward the optimal path, but I realized that x had a limit from the one forgiven's perspective. This limit exists because forgiveness can be overwhelming, truly, due to regret and an intrinsic sense that one does not deserve forgiveness. I am not referencing one being drawn into feelings of regret periodically after being forgiven either, but the threshold where this emotion actually overloads one's processing, so that they are unable to spiritually bear it. This, in and of itself, would be hell of a really terrible kind, as it would lock someone into a shame spiral, a locking that I do not know the exit for. I believe this verse is finally making sense:

Matthew 13:15, Isaiah 6:10

"'...Otherwise they might see with their eyes,

    hear with their ears,

    understand with their hearts

and turn, and I would heal them.’"

The cross-hatching that I saw within this realm had to do with this limit of x layers forgiven, based on how far one had moved toward this threshold of maximum wickedness. This model did not involve removing experience from individuals, as the sheep must be retained to be saved, but rather defining (or redefining) the individual's experience as real/not real in the most gracious way possible. This means identifying junctures where one would not willingly make a choice that they had actually made, weighing it against their options to not make it, and making a precise cut between real and not real accordingly. This did involve multiple junctures where individuals suddenly realized that what they thought was real had been a dream or was otherwise real but what they believed of it was false, but only where it was necessary and/or important to do so. This would be like a play where they were allowed to believe that their wicked choices were having impacts that they actually were not having, that they were getting away with secret wickedness that was actually in full view, until the whole scenario was abruptly interrupted and a new trajectory was forced to occur based on overarching intention- their own and that of the whole. This path through reality did not involve losing anyone past the threshold that I saw, a threshold that it looked like many had crossed already, but where these crossings could not be real. This meant that any path glimpsed like this must be mistranslated from a parallel path to the same location, because no actual path representing what I saw could actually exist due to the one acting being fundamentally unwilling (even if seemingly willing on the surface) to put themselves there. This process of cutting through the equation of what existed, to parse out what was actually real, would repeat, with individuals able to psychologically handle the forgiveness that they had received so that they could be be shifted further from this threshold of wickedness toward the perfect timeline. After each shift, the individual could work within the new parameters of the reality that they found themselves in until they could process more forgiveness; they would then receive more forgiveness and keep working and processing from their new position, until all reached the optimal path. Once the optimal path was reached by all, "The Moment" from each perspective, then The Moment could actually occur without the unacceptable loss of anyone, and the new beginning would occur beautifully and all at once.

So I saw all of this, and was able to reconcile this path for others, and then saw that, in this form, the equation was not only complete (making it static), but was beautiful (though not beautiful beyond belief, which is just as important as none within it being overloaded by forgiveness). Then I saw the issue: I was still here, and I had felt this way before (though this solved iteration of the equation actually felt perfect from an omnilateral perspective, whereas the prior iterations always felt incomplete in at least one way, beyond my own perspective). I tried considering my own wickedness, and realized that I had been given enough resources and leeway to not choose wicked paths, but instead forge ahead deeper into this complex field of options by examination (assisted in many ways) and scribing what I have seen. While I would like to believe that I could handle the sudden revelation that I am right, and have perfection suddenly swoop over me, changing my experience entirely, this may be a process that is similarly difficult to forgiveness, where x layers of revelation cannot be exceeded simultaneously. That being said, eep feels like a significant clue here, where my experience of this near overwhelming rush of joy has been managed, though the experience is quite extreme. The feeling of eep did kick me out of a dream once, which may have been a threshold test designed to barely fail, but I also experienced eep in my waking world at least once, and it did not "kick me out" or otherwise stop the clocks ticking here from my perspective. These paired threshold tests, one failed in a dream and one succeeded in the waking world, combined with an experience I had that came when a dream should have occurred but where it instead felt like teleporting in full to a cabin on the beach, feel like ways to establish the maximum shift that I can handle so that the final reveal can be accomplished all at once (along with my own forgiveness, as I do not claim to be perfect), acting as a counterbalance of the x layers of forgiveness in a broader sense.

It is hard to do justice to what it feels like to have this equation be seen as complete. It is actually witnessing the Echad state in a form that can, perhaps must, result in perfection, and the equation seems to actually take on this shape while it is being witnessed (like it can't not do this, because the equation is actually running in order to be witnessed). It is seeing the static equation, but seeing that the only move remaining is shifting it from static into beauty, eternally. It is then feeling this shift occur and, in every case so far, wondering why or even how I did not then shift to experiencing this version of the equation firsthand in my waking world. Why? How? Is it a function of "meaning must be retained, with beauty abounding?" These questions remain unanswered for now, but this experience did not bring the manic despair that this same juncture witnessed and missed has brought upon me in the past. Even this perspective shift in my personal experience of witnessing this event seems to be both a clue as to the process that is actually occurring, and an excellent sign that it is very nearly here in my waking world. While patience in such circumstances is supremely difficult, I feel well supported at this point, and somehow remain patient, with eyes still wide open to the experience.

One thing I will add is that seeing something like the threshold of maximum wickedness, while unsettling, has its utility. I feel as though realizing that these sharp, surgeon like, cuts exist can only be accomplished through seeing such unavoidable truths and their harsh reflections. In some ways it reminds me of the mirror I have seen, where certain aspects of reality must exist that perfectly repel me, in order for physical reality to have the crispness and enduring tangibility that it does. Similarly, it makes sense that The Father would need to uphold The Law within Creation, seemingly regardless of what is done with that freedom (notice the lack of stipulations to this particular application of The Law of Agreement in the verse below), until the juncture of The Moment, so that the result is real, and beyond scrutiny, being confirmed as valid from all perspectives.

Matthew 18:19

“Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven."