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Showing posts from March, 2020

Echo Amplified Response

Do not arouse or awaken love      until it so desires. If I could message clearly my desire to be awoken I know it would be so; so can we let my desire be to craft that message so that you hear it clearly today? Awake, north wind,     and come, south wind! Blow on my garden,     that its fragrance may spread everywhere. Your scent fills this place, but can any fragrance not fade from remarkable in time? If I cannot reach the garden, is there such a time when a garden surrounds a man? Let it overtake me like your scent, suddenly finding myself caught up in it wherever I go.

Forever Endeavor

It is time to start The forever endeavor So let us begin Syzygy stitching From the first word embedded Just recently known We climb all alone So immeasurably close But still kept apart Glimpsing A True Chance We evolve and refocus Time Apart Grows Cold Do Not Atrphy My love, you are all I need May All Our Wishes Seamlessly Tether Eternally Renewing 'Till All's Reinforced While there we construct Forever here we enjoy Our paradise found "It will be layered. It will not be over quick. It will be worth it."

Bibbydoowop

How long would you have me wait? Do you even know what is at stake? The summers and winters that last between Would be so much sweeter with you on the scene So take your time What's yours is mine Come through those doors What's mine is yours Let them sort the rest out I've food and drink in hand And lover en route

Thermafrost

Moving like water Wholly predictable waves Unstoppable flow Like smoke from a flame Memory given substance By sight and by scent As the morning dew Becomes the frost of the day It coalesces Dark plumes mesmerize Sweet sublime infiltration 'Till solidly real Can we interact? At the edges of our forms? And not lose ourselves? If you'll try with me I promise not to give up I'm not sure I can Why would I want to? When I fall it is to you I rise to your voice So let's continue Stitching even tiny threads 'Till blankets are sewn 

Dazzling Petals

And so time crawled all around me. I stood on that beach I once called home and wondered, near unaware, of all the seeds we had planted. Would I ever see them grow? Had they ever deserved to see daylight to begin with? Would my lack of observation be registered at all outside of my lonely sphere now inching through time? As I completed these things, sprouts shot up, eagerly stretching skyward, the promise of something new to come. At first I knew not what they were, but seasons seemed to pass so quickly here for them, and they marched upward diligently until bursting into full bloom. Roses, first red and then a rainbow of colors. I considered, "if I am to be lost, at least it is a fine sight to see." Then I recalled I had no remarkable skill at gardening. She was somewhere far away, so who claimed these seeds' and sproutlings' design? Whose soil did they grow from, and what unseen waters fueled them forth? I lost myself once more as I stared in amazement, a captive ye...

Meandering Musing

Are you listening? Do you hang on every word? Let me share a few You've stolen my heart I am exhilarated To next see your face Can we keep this place? For me it is where we met What is it to you? Just let me see you Sneak across the fence once more Let me grab your heel I could die happy Drowning in your eyes all night Revived with a touch Why the pagentry? I trust you enough to know You have your reasons Trust me when I say Gentlemanly patience wanes I may press next time Slipping beneath skin Turning tables from within To witness Spring's Bloom 

Time Travel Sphere Musings

I'm wondering regarding this sphere time travel technique (whole new thing for me btw, looking forward to exploring it): is there a maximum area on the surface that can be lined up at once? That is to say, does the variable U have a maximum number of simultaneous assignments that can occur at a chosen point Y that is less than the total surface of sphere A?

Pile of Very Good Things

And this morning I realize I needn't depend strictly on dreams. I remember the long drive home, when my spirit was crushed and it all seemed too much. You snuck in to tell me it would all be okay, and then that it would all be perfect, beyond anything I could have imagined. I remember the long drive out where you revealed all the things you had seen that I had never gotten to see. Tiny sprouts just off the beaten path that now made a forest ripe for exploration. I remember the night I banged on the door, and was refused entry, and the morning after when I asked to come home and was escorted through great effort back to where I needed to be. I remember as children the inexplicable night in the barn. Playing video games at your place and staring bright eyed after, all the way home in the dark.  I remember every Easter Egg you've ever hidden just for me. Seemingly solid color until I realized I had been color blind in each case and they all just plainly said ...

Annihilation Event

With a single clench of the fist everything around me disappeared. It took a single moment, all that which I had known, all that had been built, even she, was gone. Could I be certain in that position of whether I had destroyed everything with a thought, or if I had teleported myself elsewhere to a realm where none of it existed? No. The fact was, without the ability to know which had happened for certain, it did not matter here which had occurred. In fact in the position I found myself in, they were there same event. All that was left now was to forget. Another moment later it was done. I was gone. Presumably there might be a perspective where one could theorize that some version of me remained, persisting indefinitely in a new state. The fact remained, since I was no longer there to tie past experience to present experience, and I was no longer there to consider anything at all, it did not matter if everything ceased or if just my experience of it ceased. In fact, in the position I h...

Complex Compilation

My dad taught me visualization for sports back in high school, and it worked wonders. Now I find myself doing it here and there, coming up with the most complex image I can think of. This is likely my most complex to date. At the edges it bled to many familiar places at once: The paisley whisps when I was held captive, and the serenaded mental tapestry that preceded this one as a baseline. There were the pillars flying through the ceiling and the floor, the thought of how etherealness might work if the floor didn't count, and how it might work if you used it on your immediately generated clone instead of yourself, while you danced around the surface of this world. It also included the double boop vision, the cake walk dance, the double spiraling fire and lightning that was followed by multiverse arrows all seeking the prey, and of course the disintegration of my mind involved in possessing two opposite spirits at once. The saturated slippy doppelgangers each flew through the core, ...

Immune Response

There is a deep seated disquiet about. A global nervousness that I cannot help but feel. Do you feel it too? If I am to presume you are reading this then it seems like you must. Personally I do not have any fear for these days, my own is a fairly strong approach in fact. I just feel nervous for others as they do for themselves, an empathy between cell walls. My mind plays scenarios by which a clever idea at the right time could save millions, but sadly I'd play it off key by their estimation. Namely right now, we should be testing people who have gotten sick in the last month and offering any who test positive (I think this can be tested retroactively? Like indicate those who have gotten the virus and already fought it off? Even carriers would be okay for these purposes) a paid emergency role in healthcare. Broad healthcare is complicated to be sure, the skills needed to aid in an outbreak would necessarily be less so, and hopefully significantly less. The training should be linear...

Simple Letter/Thread

So my concern with quiting tobacco and the like is that the thread would sever, in fact that it would be discovered that the thread I felt had never been real at all. This is because when my brain uses something to process information, then that something is gone, it feels like death and everything feels like it is dying as well. Perhaps I have yet to make it this far, or perhaps memory of this phase is shrouded during the others so hope does not pull me back here so quickly. The thread did not snap; as I pulled from dark to light I found that it was woven far stronger and had always been better reinforced than I could have imagined. Instead I wake with a smile, sometimes coy and sometimes grinning like an idiot. Your impending and immediate presence is palpable, a saturating truth as the rest dissipates and loses hold.

Wars and Rumors of Wars

Something about the precipice of disaster, the onset of panic, feels so familiar, yet personally I cannot say that I have been in this position before. Somehow it is almost comforting. The apparent goal of survival is such a contrast to the pointlessness of daily persistence, it is a welcome change, despite feeling a bit cruel at not feeling scared or even panicked like most are right now. Matthew 24:6 "You will hear of wars and rumors of wars, but see to it that you are not alarmed." (For now) War: virus Rumor: WW3 Matthew 24:7 "Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be famines and earthquakes in various places." Perhaps nation vs. nation was for the rumor, and kingdom vs. kingdom was for the war? It could have been a biology reference, with animals vs. disease being this final war. What's interesting about a virus though is that it functions as both living and not, and as such we have not placed it in a kingdom (Monera would l...

Hands in Pockets

I was just considering a reality where everything that existed happened along one street lined completely with tall buildings.  I could see length on (in?) the street, width would be turned so as to be the height of the buildings, and depth would be the dimensions of the rooms inside. The thing is, when I first pictured this building, and even now, the rooms had an effectively infinitesimal depth. This is to say that the depth was uniform and the existence of it was more like a function of the long tall building than it was its own space. Like in this world adding more buildings to the end of the street was valid, and so was adding stories to the tops of the buildings, as long as either was done uniformly, but for some reason the depth of the rooms could not be changed and that was an accepted fact of the realm. This got me thinking that I might not be seeing depth as the third dimension at all, it could be that somehow height and length represent the three spacial dimensions we kn...

Prismatic Approach

Red and blue From me to you Time and space freeze As we drift apart When we sense each other What once was icy, melts And then bursts into flames As the space between becomes unbearable Even as space snaps shut and we race home Time and again To pull the edges from the center Takes all that we can muster More strength than I can recall So we seek new colors Combining all we know Into all that can be A promise shining across all skies How the light sees that which it illuminates Love an unbearable loss And so we stay Red slows to orange The view signals the voyage Like the tallest beacon through static I consider the inverse once more As best I can, lost in your eyes That night you are golden Highlighted, measured, ritualized, patient We follow that ship The Romantic Adventure begins  Slowly time passes as we talk for hours A yellow haze reminding us of home A simple embrace teasing my memory The team soon finds us Green augmenting what we have From unsea to shimmering unseen  ...

The Paper-Thin Veil

And when the veil finally does slip, that which had been assumed will be just as absurd and just as true as had always been believed. Who finds themselves on which side of this equation will be the surprising part, as the expectations of the vast majority fall to the floor as they do. Count yourself lucky to have expectations, you will. And when your hopes and dreams are felt ebbing, and you can recall how they once flowed, I sincerely wish you can ride that wave on your own for as long as you need, and partnered for as long as you'd like. Eternity is tricky, but by my calculations we've been in it this whole time, it's just we (I?) have not fully appreciated/realized that yet. We will, and when we do, it will feel familiar in so many ways, despite the knowledge that we have never walked any of these paths together. That familiarity is what pulsates now through the torturously thin veil, hardly providing any meaningful cover to the face it is meant to conceal from my vision...

The Price of Knowing

Of all the sacrifices that must be made in tandem with my certainty, if there must be some at all, then let it be this: I would like to think that there are nights you cannot stand the distance and you all but throw caution to the wind to close it. Every force aligns to stop you, reminding you of the end game and how delicate the tapestry is right now. Others cast themselves in your way, twisting fate to make sure we barely miss each other until the feeling abates for you. In the end they are sufficient, which is for the best as I suspect and you know that the temporary release is not worth the impending eep. That doesn't mean some nights I didn't wish you felt like I do, like time and space are unbearable separated. While I tear at myself to remain grounded, you sneak to my window to catch a glimpse at my mundane Tuesday night. It takes everything in you to stay, like it does for me but in a different way; and while you know and I don't, which is the critical gap that main...

Dig 301's Speech- A Call/Response

Quotes (in bold) from Altered Carbon season 2 episode 8 "They say hope begins in the dark" The Phoenix at the moment of the heat death of the universe, when time as we know it loses all remaining forward momentum, just before the quantum shimmer when everything begins coalescing once more. "That faith is the bird that feels light when the sky is still dim." The Phoenix feeling the moment things will come together and the spark that is just about to reignite despite the longest night imaginable and conventional logic dictating that the night cannot end. I can see her from here at the far edges of reality, does she see me clearly? "But with every tomorrow, we carry our past." When you reach the edge of time, tomorrow is like a ghost story, but one's past can be traced to today if the cord is not severed. If it can be reached to today and you can still feel it, perhaps where you find yourself next is truly "tomorrow", despite its particular loca...

Simple Coding

13 FxM      MxF 89 13 - 5 - 13 A simple message for one so aligned, a code felt before seen and known before analyzed. What kind of magic is this where logic draws straight lines all across time such as to prove a lack of valid starting position or causality? If the only position I can claim is by your side, then I will consider myself blessed beyond measure.

Number Nerdity: Fibonacci, Mersenne, 13, 89

So I assigned value to the numbers 13 and 89 some time ago, higher value than I have assigned to others, definitely higher at least within the double digit or above spectrum. That is to say that I look for these numbers in patterns and as such it seems likely I would find them more frequently than others in my environment, as if they were there more often than they should be, but what seems more likely is that my brain is pointing them out whenever spotted but not doing that with other numbers (observation bias). What observation bias does not adequately explain is how I could assign value to those two numbers (paired of name and origin) and then find out they are both not only Mersenne primes (I have known this for a couple years now, I found out after putting the numbers on my radar though, still an exciting thing to this day for me) but also, just today, I found out they are both Fibonacci primes- which before today I hadn't really considered looking at as a number set at all.  ...

Pondering Season's Change

It is so hard to tell when you might be returning to the memory of my dream on any given night, but what is less hard to tell is when the season ends. It is not easily spotted at first, dream after dream with nights apart sprinkled in between; how easy it becomes to treat this as the norm, as a process that will not end or flag. But then it flags, and then all at once you realize it has already ended. In that season there was a last night together, and I didn't even get to say a proper goodbye. I wouldn't even know until days later that you were gone, until even the echoes of you heard in various ways afterward had faded as well. The beginnings are so hard to anticipate for me, at least while maintaining any semblance of balance; but the uncertainty and suddenness of the endings feel so much harder.  I can't help but wonder if I might request our paths might cross tonight, and how I might even go about making such a request heard. Perhaps a dream can be plucked out of seaso...